The Mystery of the Mind

Oh dear! I just looked at the date of my last post.....apologies to the 3 people who actually read this blog :) So since my last post I had a birthday - a great day and I felt incredibly blessed.....

I have been going after something in God for a while now. I have been captivated by Romans 12:2 for a while now "Don't conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to test and approve God's will, his pleasing and perfect will"

For a while I was sitting in the place of going...Yep I totally agree, my mind needs to be renewed in order that I might be transformed but I was getting a little stuck on the "how".

A friend lend me a dvd series entitled "your body, his temple" which I'm pretty sure I've blogged about before. It made me realise just how incredibly complex and astounding our minds are. It was also a little scary to hear how little we use of the potential our mind has.

The last couple of days I have begun working my way through a teaching series entitled "The supernatural power of a renewed mind" by Bill Johnson ( www.ibethel.org)

I am only up to the third teaching cd but already I am gaining so much insight into the importance of a renewed mind and the impact that it can have not only on ourselves but our world as we seek first the kingdom.

Bill said " faith is constricted by our misconceptions" - ain't that the truth. I think back to the times I've heard people say that sickness is from God and he's using it to teach us something, or the view of God I've carried around for so many years that he will eventually tire of me, or love me with conditions, or even down to thinking that there was a special formula for prayer - all these misconceptions have definately constricted my faith over the years.

I'm up to the part where Bill is talking about the "word of the kingdom" and how it is the living seed of another world..... so I'll wrap this up so I can get back to it...such good stuff.

I want to live my life not to the best of my potential, but to the best of the potential of the 'word of the kingdom' planted in my spirit, nurtured and nourished by the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life.... I want to live a life "out of this world"

grace & peace

gardening for dummies 101

I figured I need to explain myself...all this gardening, people will be wondering if I'm having a midlife crisis. I actually come from a family of Gardeners. As kids my brother and I had gardening diaries. Our grandparents had a small section of their mammoth garden for Rik and I to plant seeds and to help them grow. We were responsible for the care and maintanence of the garden. Sometimes I wish I still had that diary somewhere (I'm sure I could use the refresher course).

So here I am all these years later attempting to garden again. So far I have built and planted 2 raised gardens, made a stoned garden and today I have planted tires full of cucumber and zuchinni. I think Im almost done with the gardening for this year.

All I have left to do is to plant my potatoes in tires and sit back and enjoy the fruit (or veges) of my labour.....in a varying number of weeks time.

a phantom, an opera, an accident & the kingdom

I went to see Phantom of the Opera last night with friends and work colleagues. We made the trip from Hamilton to Auckland in a "Go bus!"...I think they are named that cos at best you can hope that the bus will live up to its name and actually go!

Our seats were as far back as you could get, literally. We had the back wall of the theatre behind us. I felt like I was up in the clouds somewhere looking down on these little people below. For the most part it was a great show...until the scenes where they were on high staging and then at best we could see their lower legs and feet, at worst, nothing.

Coming home in the go bus was an adventure all in itself. There was a "woah" from our driver, followed by the braking of the bus, the gasping of those who could see what happened and the sound of the rain continuing to fall. A man ahead of us had drifted to the left and then spun around to face us but not before slamming into the wire lane guard that separates southbound & northbound traffic. Now I'm never one to just sit in the car when there has been an accident. I prefer to find some way of helping...even if it is just clearing the road of the debris or holding an umbrella over the driver as we waited for the police & ambulance. He was Chinese and unfortunately didn't really speak english. In my best 'intercultural sign language and gestures" I managed to figure out that he lived in Auckland and has family there. He got a bit of a shock when he hit the rail and something about lights shining in his eyes before he hit it....oh and he wasn't injured.

After a lengthy wait for the police & emergency services (lengthy only because of the time of night, the weather conditions and my heels & fishnets not being the warmest) we headed on our way home, leaving the man, his car and the situation behind us.

I was thinking about it and thought "Lord, what more could I have done for this man?" It was so frustrating not being able to communicate clearly with him, to provide him with any sort of real comfort or assurance, or simply connect with him beyond our primative 'conversation'. I imagined what the kingdom would look like... if I'd had the sense to pray I wonder if for that moment in time the Holy Spirit could have enabled me to speak & understand chinese..... to have been able to pray for him and talk to him about Jesus.

I have a bit of a simple faith that believes that stuff like that is totally possible in the kingdom. If people can be healed of disease or raised from the dead, if people can speak in tongues not their own, why couldnt the Holy Spirit work as a translator in that moment. My mind doesn't understand it all, my spirit is still hungering after it and I wonder if like my view at the Phantom, sometimes my view of the kingdom is obscured because of the distance I place in my life. Am I hanging around the edges of the Kingdom, not wanting to jump headfirst in, choosing instead to settle with a toe, or even just looking at what others are up to?

My prayer last night was "Lord next time, I want to pray and ask for Heaven to Invade earth, for your kingdom come...and I want to do that in the moment, not as a reflection after the event."\

Finance One & Freedom

Last night I had to attend a finance roadshow that was happening for work. I must confess I was not too excited by the thought...I mean I could be watching Home & Away or working on the garden, or washing my hair. I could come up with dozens of things I would rather be doing. However I went and I can't believe I'm going to say this but "I'm so glad I did".

I learnt heaps from the presentation. I was able to ask lots of questions (which I did). I actually got a little self conscious at one point because I was asking so many questions and no one else seemed to have any. But then I decided that perhaps some were too shy to ask the questions and maybe my questions were the same as theirs. I also figured now is the time to ask them since they said they were there to help.

I came away from the night feeling empowered. I finally had knowledge about things that previously I felt a little in the dark about. I now have the understanding to be able to manage the financial side of things better and more effectively.

Someone once said "knowledge is power". After the finance roadshow I would say "yep". When people are kept in the dark about something, or made to be reliant on someone else for something that they should and could be doing for themselves there can be a real sense of demoralising or invalidation that takes place. But once people have the knowledge to be able to do things for themselves, what freedom and sense of ownership is theirs!

Some other dude once said "give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime."

I think this whole idea is something that we always have to keep in mind when in ministry. I think sometimes the easier option or the quicker option is to simply "do things for others" rather than take the time to teach them how to do it for themselves.

If we really want to go after people experiencing freedom, then we must be willing to let go of some of the "control" or "power" and empower others to be able to "fish for themselves".

Just a thought.

Today

Every Thursday morning I have the privilege of doing "spirit-lifter" at our bridge detox centre. This morning I decided to introduce them to the Nooma DVD series ( www.nooma.com ) and used No 17 entitled Today. At first there were smart comments being dished out around the room as the DVD started. But as Rob Bell appeared and began to talk the room became rather silent. At the end there was a "mmmmm" around the room as they reflected on what they had just seen and heard.

I reflected too. I too went "mmmmm" as I sought to gather all the thoughts running around my head.

Here are some snippets of the DVDs content.

"Life isn't static, is it?
It ebbs and flows and people grow up and move away and graduate and lose their jobs.
And people that you love die, and some get married
and others don't and some get divorced and some get cancer
and things aren't how they were"

"He [Jesus] tells them it's a whole new day, everything's changed, and God's going to give them everything they need. He essentially tells them they are going to receive a new spirit, one for today and he promises them that they're going to have everything that they need for their new life."

"If you need to celebrate how good it was, then celebrate.
If you need to remember how great it was when they were alive, then remember that.
If you need to grieve, grieve.
If you need to apologise or make amends or you need to do something to make peace with how it was, then do it, but then, move on.

"If you live in the fantasy that you'll get around to it tomorrow, that you'll get around to them tomorrow, you will wake up and it will not be tomorrow, it will be yesterday and you will have missed it-you will have missed them."

"May you accept the past for what it is

May you celebrate what needs to be celebrated

and grieve what needs to be grieved and then,

may you receive from God a new spirit, one for here, now, today."

I can choose to wallow in the past, to try and relive the past, perhaps even to deny the past - or I can embrace today, choose to really live and in so doing make today count...for myself, for others and for the Kingdom of God.

I choose today.

backlog

I always find it harder to write that first blog after a few days, weeks or months absence. I think its because there is so much that has taken place & its hard to decide what to say.

There have been some great moments, some challenging days and some events that have pressed against my faith and have stretched me.

So here's where I'm at right now on Tuesday afternoon 28th October 2008- I'm still believing and praying that my cousin will be found - I'm still believing for healing for friends who are dealing with diagnosis of cancer - I am grateful for the good friends I have who continue to encourage me and support me - I'm stoked for my friends who are having babies - I am finally able to say "I made a raised garden....at long last" - I am incredibly grateful for God's faithfulness and his care of me - I think the Canterbury rugby team rock after their win - My hair is still growing and can finally put it in 2 tiny ponytails - I miss my friends and family - I love my church - I know I have so much more growing to do - I have really bad bed hair in the mornings and end up looking like something from a DR Seuss book - I am continuing to pursue the Kingdom of God and heaven invading earth and will give my all for that.

whew! I think the backlog is cleared and will attempt to blog again tomorrow so it doesnt build up again :)

entering the male domain - promise keepers night

Last night I took two of the guys from church to a promise keepers training night - what an experience! David Murrow the author of the book "why men hate church" was here in NZ and the training event was advertised as everyone welcome and pastors welcome.....so I thought well I fit in the category of "everyone" & I'm a pastor & I'm definately interested in why men hate church - so I went.

Ladies.....you know how your husbands/partners/boyfriends/brothers start to look really uncomfortable when you head towards the lingere department....I understand how they feel. As I walked in there was a moment when I thought.....where do I look? Where can I hide? Surely there is some other female in this building? I think it was a case of being unable to just 'blend in' with the crowd! That feeling soon passed and I really enjoyed the evening.

There were some stereotypes in play throughout the evening. It could have appeared that all men love rugby, hunting and powertools while all women love needlecraft, cooking and handbags....which is definately not the case. We have to be so careful that we dont make sweeping assumptions on either side of the gender issue.

4 Reasons why Men hate church

1. They think its for women, weirdos & wimps

2. They think it is a waste of their time

3. The christian culture leans towards the feminine

4. It's hard for men to win at church.

He went on to talk about how to "MAN UP" your church

He started by asking all the pastors to raise their hands (which I did)

He then said the first thing Pastors is that you have to "be a man"! I laughed along with the guys around me, and so he told me that I didnt have to (whew). The funny thing was that the description he then went on to give of how to be a man, I would do all of those things anyway - 1. bring vision to the pulpit, 2. take firm stands on issues, 3. be a regular 'guy' not a religious 'guy' and if you do man stuff like go to the rugby, talk about it at church. Well I never realised that I was doing "man stuff" by watching the rugby :)

As I listened to everything he was sharing I've decided that I am not a 'typical' girl according to his theories etc. You see I love war stories, action movies, sports, Cooking on the BBQ and I hate flowers in church, needlecraft and holding hands with the person next to you at church.

An old dude came up to me after the sessions ended and quizzed me on whether I was a pastor. I said yeah and explained my situation. He then asked me if I learnt heaps and was now going to go away and make all the needed changes etc. I had to explain to him that I'm not the 'typical' woman and that our church is already naturally doing a lot of what was described so it wasnt really earth shattering revelation, but more highlighting little things. He seemed quite surprised.

I decided that God has wired me as I am for a reason, and I think my wiring has helped me as a sole corps officer to run a reasonably male friendly church. I learnt heaps and will certainly investigate the topic more.

David has now written a new book written for women and the part they play in getting men to church. I would certianly encourage pple to read both books and look into the whole area of why men hate church and what can be done to turn around the situation.....

and lets unite to get rid of plastic flowers!!!!!

it is well with my soul

At the weekend I did a shocking job of recounting the events that led up to the writing of this beautiful hymn. So I thought I would take a few moments today to blog the details.

(thanks to www.biblestudycharts.com/A_Daily_Hymn for the detailed back story)

This hymn was written by a Chicago lawyer, Horatio G. Spafford. The words,"When sorrows like sea billows roll ... It is well with my soul”, were not written during the happiest period of Spafford's life. On the contrary, they came from a man who had suffered almost unimaginable personal tragedy.Horatio G. Spafford and his wife, Anna, were pretty well-known in 1860’s Chicago. The Spaffords' only son was killed by scarlet fever at the age of four. A year later, it was fire rather than fever that struck. Horatio had invested heavily in real estate on the shores of Lake Michigan. In 1871, every one of these holdings was wiped out by the great Chicago Fire.Aware of the toll that these disasters had taken on the family, Horatio decided to take his wife and four daughters on a holiday to England. And, not only did they need the rest -- DL Moody needed the help. He was traveling around Britain on one of his great evangelistic campaigns.

Horatio and Anna planned to join Moody in late 1873. And so, the Spaffords traveled to New York in November, from where they were to catch the French steamer 'Ville de Havre' across the Atlantic. Yet just before they set sail, a last-minute business development forced Horatio to delay. Not wanting to ruin the family holiday, Spafford persuaded his family to go as planned. He would follow on later. With this decided, Anna and her four daughters sailed East to Europe while Spafford returned West to Chicago.

Just nine days later, Spafford received a telegram from his wife in Wales. It read: "Saved alone."

On November 2nd 1873, the 'Ville de Havre' had collided with 'The Lochearn', an English vessel. It sank in only 12 minutes, claiming the lives of 226 people. Anna Spafford had stood bravely on the deck, with her daughters Annie, Maggie, Bessie and Tanetta clinging desperately to her. Her last memory had been of her baby being torn violently from her arms by the force of the waters. Anna was only saved from the fate of her daughters by a plank which floated beneath her unconscious body and propped her up. When the survivors of the wreck had been rescued, Mrs. Spafford's first reaction was one of complete despair. Then she heard a voice speak to her, "You were spared for a purpose." And she immediately recalled the words of a friend, "It's easy to be grateful and good when you have so much, but take care that you are not a fair-weather friend to God."

Upon hearing the terrible news, Horatio Spafford boarded the next ship out of New York to join his bereaved wife. Bertha Spafford (the fifth daughter of Horatio and Anna born later) explained that during her father's voyage, the captain of the ship had called him to the bridge. "A careful reckoning has been made", he said, "and I believe we are now passing the place where the de Havre was wrecked. The water is three miles deep." Horatio then returned to his cabin and penned the lyrics of his great hymn.

The words which Spafford wrote that day come from 2 Kings 4:26. They echo the response of the Shunammite woman to the sudden death of her only child. Though we are told "her soul is vexed within her", she still maintains that 'It is well." And Spafford's song reveals a man whose trust in the Lord is as unwavering as hers was.

It would be very difficult for any of us to predict how we would react under circumstances similar to those experienced by the Spaffords. But we do know that the God who sustained them would also be with us.No matter what circumstances overtake us may we be able to say with Horatio Spafford...

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet,
though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul!

It is well ... with my soul!
It is well,
it is well,
with my soul

Horatio fought a personal battle and gained a victory that we as generations that have followed have been able to enjoy the spoils of. One man's victory is a generations spoils. How different we might look at our own life if we could grasp that we pursue holiness & the Kingdom of God not for our sake alone, but that the generations to come would have gained ground on which they can then build.

At Youth Councils Stew talked about how instrumental this song had been in his Grandfather's salvation....2 generations later, Stew is leading us in worship with the very same words that captured his grandfather's heart for the kingdom.

May future generations stand on our victories and declare the goodness of God amidst the battle that rages.

kung fu baby

So I'm busy preparing for the weekend. I'm participating in a Leadership Jesus Way conference in Rotorua and I'm doing 3 sessions, Discipleship, Generational transfer and seed sowing. I'm really excited by the opportunity to be part of the team presenting and as I've been preparing what I wanted to share, my thoughts turned to PO....not just any big fat panda - THE big fat panda! I went to see Kung fu panda with some of the kids at church and we had a fantastic time....its a great movie. I came out of the theatre saying "that's a dvd purchase".

There are some great lines in the movie...

Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can go for months without eating, surviving on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.

Po: Then I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. It's gonna take a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice.

Po: It is said that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness

Po: I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.

Po: There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.

The more I think about it, the more I think there are so many lessons we can draw from Po & the legend of the dragon warrior when we are thinking about the Kingdom of God.

The movie speaks of destiny, of identity, of pain and its use in training us, of the enemy held in chains but set free when we hand it to him, of the call within each of us to greatness, of the discipline required for the task that seems too big, of the importance of a coach/mentor, of the prophetic voice, and so much more.

I am so looking forward to seeing the movie again, of owning it on dvd and being able to use it to help others unlock the secrets of the kingdom.

So while I wait for it to be released on dvd I guess there's only one thing left to say....

skadoosh!

the battle has just begun

So I'm still basking in the goodness of God...and loving the sunny day here in Hamilton. It feels like the first totally fine day in months. In fact its so warm I was looking around work for the fan to cool the office down!!

I'm still reflecting on the weekend and all that took place. I'm praying hard for all of those who did business with God over the weekend. I don't know much about their personal circumstances, their family life, their social groupings etc etc. But I do know that in one sense the battle has just begun. Decisions were made, lives were changed, sin was repented of, addictions were broken and healing has begun......and now this is where the power of Romans 12:1 & 2 kicks in. This is where the process of no longer conforming to the pattern of the world, but instead renewing our minds is so key. Its the whole idea of sowing and reaping....we have sown certain 'crops' in our lives....and we've been reaping that crop. We make a decision that says I will now sow a different crop. There is a season where we will still reap some of the old crop, even though we are now sowing new seed. Even if we have now chosen to follow wholeheartedly after God, we may still find ourselves reaping some of the consequences of past seed sown.

Our thought life sows seeds into our hearts and spirits...the process of renewing our mind, taking every thought captive, is about checking out what seed we are going to allow to be sown in the garden of our mind...if it is a seed that would produce a crop you dont want to reap....then kick it out, dont let it be planted. Plant that which is good, and of God, and that will produce life.

Remember if you want carrots don't sow potatoes :)

SALVANIA II YOUTH COUNCILS

I'm sitting at home, waiting for the washing machine to finish, and thinking back on the last 48 hours or so. I had the awesome priviledge of speaking at Northern Division Youth Councils held in Auckland. What a phenominal weekend. Mat, Jules, Stew and the DYLT (divisional youth leadership team) rock! They put on a wickedly cool weekend with this amazing 'game'. I wouldnt be able to do it justice to try and describe it...but the simplest description would be...

There are 4 armies, each with a general. Each army has 5 battallions of troops and they have to try and take over the world, by taking over as many of the 20 countries scattered around the city as possible....talk about organised chaos!!!!

As great as the game was, the highlight for me was watching the youth of the division respond to God on Sat night and Sunday morning. The hunger for more of God, and the willingness to count the cost in order to be fully surrendered to God was moving to watch.

I had the priviledge of praying for numbers of youth as they laid themselves bare before God. They desired to hold nothing back from God, to let no sin entangle them or cause them to stop running the race.

I am incredibly humbled by what I experiencd this weekend and feel so blessed to have been a small part of what God did this weekend. God is good, he is compassionate and loving. All of heaven was rejoicing at what was taking place this weekend.

The challenge for us all now is NO RETREAT! We need to keep taking the ground for the kingdom of God. We can't allow sin to creep into the camp and we need to make sure that we are listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit - RENEW OUR MINDS & TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE......

I pray God will now take hold of all those who were present and 'ruin them' for the sake of his Kingdom.

Invisible Vision

As I've been preparing to speak at youth councils this weekend I've been praying that the invisible would be made visible...that heaven would invade earth....that people will see themselves not through their eyes, but as God sees them. So often stuff that we are dealing with can be made worse because of a vision problem. We either have a faulty 'lense' by which we view the world, or we get so lost in the midst of it all that we can't see beyond that moment to know that there is hope, there is freedom, there is a way through. For me this weekend, I want to have 'invisible vision'. I want to see what God is up to and make sure that I do everything I can to usher in the Kingdom of God. When I'm meeting people, I want to see them as Jesus sees them, I want to catch a glimpse of God's heart for them and to speak words of life into the circumstances.

I'm reminded of the passage in 2 Kings 6 where Elisha is with his servant and the servant panics because he wakes up in the morning to discover that the city is surrounded by enemy chariots and an army with horses. He's really scared, not knowing what to do.

Elisha the prophet of God tells him not to worry because "those who are with us are more than thosw who are with them" And then Elisha prayed "Lord open his eyes so he may see." And the servant saw that the hills were full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

This weekend I am praying that God would open the eyes of the youth of the Northern Division to see the reality of the battle. That they would have invisible vision - that which is invisible becomes visible - and that they have an encounter with God's holy presence.

honoring those who paid the price

So last night I was having dinner with 'the family' (my spiritual dad & grand dad - although that makes him sound really old!) We got to talking about what it was like in the army years ago when they were training to be officers, what it was like pre-music teams and 'praise and worship'. It was hard for me to imagine the 'world' that they were describing. There are things that happen all the time today that I guess I take for granted. But last night listening to them talk I realised that there was a huge cost paid by individuals in order to bring about the changes and freedoms that I have always enjoyed. Can you believe that there was a time where 'songs of praise' wasn't allowed! There was a time that to use a 'songs of praise' book was what defined you as charismatic according to some. As I listened to Ivan and Malcolm share last night I felt quite overwhelmed at the sacrifice they and Glenda & Laurel (their spouses) and others made, the personal pain they must have felt along the way and their pursuit of God's goodness and presence.

I want to honor them today and say "thank you. On behalf of my generation, thank you. Thank you for carving a path, for beating back the undergrowth to make a path that we can freely walk down today. Thank you for the lead that you've passed on to us. I am determined to make the most of the lead that you have given me."

There was also a little part of me that saw that those years of struggle and adversity did something good in them. There was a refining that took place over those years that only comes by such experiences. There is a reward given to those who are willing to pay that kind of price. As I think about our current climate it is hard to imagine that there would ever be such a time again where within our own ranks opposition is great, the challenge is huge and the cost is great....but I hope and pray that if such a time exists in my lifetime, that I would do the family proud and stand the same way they stood. I pray that I might have the same courage and determination to press in to the things of God, even when the road seems very lonely and hard.

I salute you!

update - Manifest Presence

I have had an incredible week & weekend. I won't be able to fully express it all in one post so will perhaps just scratch the surface today. Monday last week I headed to Auckland to attend the Manifest Presence Conference at Harbourside Church. The guest speakers were Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton (both from Bethel Church in Redding California) and Russell Evans of planetshakers fame.

For me it was a week of breakthrough and revelation. I was able to work through some stuff that had been tripping me up for years and have a greater revelation of Father God's love and goodness. I have a greater sense of destiny and purpose than ever before.

It was also great to be able to hang out with "the family", to pray for each other and hear what God was saying to us throughout the week.

I'm hoping to take some time over the coming weeks to blog about some of the things that impacted me and helped to bring revelation.

I just want to see Heaven on Earth and the gap between Jesus and me get smaller and smaller as I seek the Father's presence. God is good. His grace IS sufficient...sometimes its our perspective that needs a shift. Sometimes we just need to get over ourselves.

a life changed

At church today we had someone leading the meeting for the first time and he was talking about the difference that God has made in his life. He'd had a powerful encounter with God was trying to describe what a difference its made. At one point he said "I can't put it into words to convey the extent of the change" and a number of us answered back "its ok, we can tell, we can see it on your face" and it was so true. There was a lightness in his face and a sparkle in his eye that hadnt been there before.

Its awesome to see God setting people free and changing their lives

in the secret places

I have so much to say that it would perhaps take a book to detail it all....so this is just a sliver of ice on the iceberg of my experience.

I've been watching a series over the last week entitled "your body, his temple". In this series Caroline Leaf M.D a South African brain guru (can't remember her actual title) is talking about the complexities of the brain and about toxic thoughts and what happens to our mind because of the way we think.....absolutely incredible stuff.

So in it she talks about the need to renew our minds (sound familiar bible readers?) and how we need to take captive our thoughts instead of letting thoughts just roam freely around in our heads.

So my head is conscious of all of this....and then last night at the Leadership Jesus Way extension seminar conference we had a ministry time and God began to help me to renew my mind on some pretty painful memories of my past. It was an incredibly sacred moment. I would think of a situation and ask God "where were you when this was happening?" and then he would show me where he was. Powerful. Let me give you one example....

I was bullied at school and at one of the primary schools I attended I was being bullied after school by one of the girls in my class. In order to escape from her I ran into a classroom and hid in a cupboard and just cried and cried. In that moment I felt so alone, so isolated, so vulnerable...so I asked God, "where were you in that situation?" He said "I was there, I showed you where the cupboard was...I gave you a safe place to hide, I was your refuge" In that moment the many years of heartache and pain over that situation was gone. My thoughts about the situation had been renewed, the incredible emotional turmoil I have relived over the years was replaced by an indescribable sense of protection and care.

There were many more instances that God and I walked through last night and I have a feeling there are more to come. I love that fact that its in those secret places of our heart and soul that we are most found by God.

"Don't conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12v 2

knocking on heaven's door

God showed up!

At church today we were continuing our exploration about prayer and developing a friendship with God.

We looked at two passages in Luke 11 & Luke 18 and explored three aspects of the kingdom contained in these passages (hat tip Bill Johnson)

1. friendship
2. justice
3. persistence

Sometimes we dont receive from God because we are his friend, or because of his justice...sometimes we receive because of our sacrificial persistence.

We had a fantastic time of prayer for people who are dealing with all kinds of things. We have people in our church facing cancer, major surgery, relationship breakdown, financial concerns and a whole host of other things....

These things are enough to derail some people, to question where is God, why is he letting this happen to us....

Yet we choose to believe that the enemy would want to derail us from the purposes of God...he wants to take out those who are engaged in battle for the kingdom of God....so we embrace the pain and seek the Lord in the midst of it all. We want to be known in hell....because the enemy will only concern himself with those who are a threat to him.

We were encouraged to seek the Lord's presence, because it is out of the intimacy with God that we walk in, that we can minister to others. We cannot give away what we don't have.

Today I choose to sacrificially persist in my prayers for myself and others. I choose to keep knocking on the door of heaven, knowing I am a friend of God & knowing I serve a just God...and knowing that God is good.

Prince Caspian

I went to see Prince Caspian last night...I missed the start because I was waiting for people who were coming too. They ended up at the wrong theatre and decided to see it there instead...which left me with 4 extra tickets :(

Anyway rather than stew on the face that I was $45 out of pocket I asked God to speak to me during the movie....its something I do with every movie I watch. God and I have this thing you see where I watch the movie and he uses it to encourage or challenge me about stuff. Its amazing what one can learn through the movies. So there were a number of things that spoke to me through the movie but I just want to talk about one today.

Near the start of the movie (well the start that I saw) Lucy is convinced she saw Aslan.None of the others saw him and so they doubt that it was really him. A moment comes where they are trying to decide how to deal with the enemy. Peter has one idea, Prince Caspian another. Lucy pipes up and says that there doesn't just have to be two options...she's referring to Aslan. Once again her small voice is ignored and they attempt one of the two other options, with disastrous consequences. Many Nanianas die.

Finally Lucy is given her chance to go and find Aslan in the middle of the Forrest. She goes and eventually finds him. He asks her why she didn't come sooner? She replies that she was afraid to come on her own. She then asks him if she had come earlier would it have meant that the lives of all those who had died would have been spared? Aslan replies, we will never know what could have been.

As I lay awake last night I kept thinking about that conversation between Lucy and Aslan. It really challenged me about the fears and insecurities that I allow to hold me back from pursuing God.......and how many people are missing out on things because I am not ready or able to be used by God to bring change to their lives right now. I have two choices in that moment....I can either get crippled with the feeling of regret over missed opportunities or I can be like Lucy and actively partner with God from that moment on..... Lucy pushed through despite her fears and was the catalyst for salvation to come to the Nanians via the presence of Aslan. I need to push through my fears and be the catalyst for salvation to come to others via the presence of Jesus in their lives and circumstances.

an email about Todd Bently by Bill Johnson

There is so much controversy about Todd Bentley at the moment. I heard an amazing response by Bill Johnson to an email he received recently. Even if you've never heard of Todd, it will challenge you when you are tempted to criticise others, or if others criticise those you love....

It's a big challenge to us all not to be so quick to sit in judgement of others....

"How in God's name can you endorse Todd Bentley?" (email sent to Bill Johnson)

"Have you spent time with Todd?
Do you know him?
Have you watched him with his wife?
Have you seen how he treats his kids?
Have you spent any time with his staff?
Have you been to his ministry?
Has he been to yours?
Have you laid hands on him and prayed?
Has he laid hands on you and prayed?
Have you grieved over tragedy together?
Have you celebrated victory together?
Has he sought your counsel and has he travelled great distance just to meet with you privately for advice?
Have you ever recieved his counsel?
Have you ever been in the room when God shows up on him, used him in stunning miracles?
Have you seen him operate in word of knowledge and the prophetic?
Have you met with his council of elders?
Have you personally benefited from his gift?
Has he benefited from your gift and ministry?
Has he ever honoured you for who you are in God?
Has he partnered with you as a friend?
Have you sacrificed for his welfare, for that of his family?
Have you sought God with him?
Have you ever worshipped the Lord with him?
I didn't think so.....

I have, and I will continue to support those I have walked with in life and ministry
He is my friend
More importantly God calls him friend
and if you and I were ever friends at that level and people hated you, turned against you, started web pages to tear down your ministry, criticised you to your friends,
wrote against you in christian magazines, criticised you on the radio, wrote emails to other conference speakers and authors...

I'd still be your friend

By the way, criticism in the form of a question, is not a question.
But to respond to your statement "how in God's name can you endorse Todd Bently?"
Its easy, I do it in God's name."

Food for thought

To listen to the whole podcast its Bethel Church and the podcast is called the Loyalty of Bethel

storms

Wow have we had some crazy weather this week. In the early hours of yesterday morning, my friend Rebecca and I found ourselves texting each other to see if the other was awake. You see there was thunder and lightening having a party in the sky and it was pretty loud and slightly scary. Its kind of nice to know that someone else is awake somewhere close by too....slightly comforting somehow.

I learnt as a kid to see the lightening and then count until you hear the thunder and that gives you an idea of how far away the lightening really is. This 'scientific' method only gives me comfort in part. Sometimes there doesnt seem to be any thunder in between the flashes of lightening....but most often the lightening seems way closer than the thunder, or the thunder is really loud even though according to my count it should be very distant....now any weather enthusaists out there, please forgive my ignorance about these matters.

It has got me thinking though, about the storms that I face in life. Sometimes I can blow them right out of proportion. Things can seem so much worse than they are. My little bit of knowledge can actually be harmful to me if I dont take the time to explore the issue wider, or allow God to speak into the situation. Sometimes I'm convinced that this particular storm is signaling my soon demise - that I will be struck down by the lightening so to speak. Sometimes in the midst of the storm I think I am all alone and that no one else experiences what I go through and so I tend to isolate myself from the hope and help that I need to persevere.

I certainly dont aspire to be a storm chaser by any means, but I do wish to be a stormtrooper....someone who carries on through the other side of a storm, and is all the better for it.

don't pick that scab

So it seems that I've pretty much retained my right mind after yesterday's encounter with the car boot. But now I have this big scab like blob on the back of my head....and all I want to do is pick it off. You know what its like when as a kid you egot a big scab on your knee. did you ever get told that if you pick your scabs you could end up damaging your kidneys? I certainly did. I have no idea of the logic of it but it was meant to be a deterant to the temptation of picking.

Apparently they are 'designed' to simply fall off when they are no longer needed by the body...and that whole itchy thing is part of it all. Yet as a kid scabs very rarely 'fell off'. Usually I picked at them until they came off and the blood would ooze again, indicating that I was a little premature in my removal of the scab.

I think that there are times in our lives where scabs can form in our lives, and they are there for our protection and health. When we are hurt I think sometimes 'scabs' form to stop us 'bleeding to death' or getting 'infected'. Scabs are not designed to stay around forever, so I'm not suggesting that scabs build up in our lives when we experience pain and we carry them around forever. I do, however think that a moment will come when the 'scab' will come off and we are able to deal with the situation. That timeframe can be anywhere from a few days to a few years. God will not give us more than we can handle and I think that the 'scab' is one way of 'plugging' a wound up so that we can deal with it when we are able. I have had more than one friend who experienced some form of abuse as small children. In their state as children they were unable to deal or heal....but as they grew older and either became christians, or grew in their intimacy with Father God, a moment came for each of them where the scab fell off and healing took place.

I've experienced that in my own life....key moments where 'scabs' fell off and I was able to deal with that which had wounded. The temptation will always be there to pick at scabs.....but that will just cause more blood, more pain and a new scab to have to grow.

So I'm leaving the glue on my head for a couple of reasons....A. I dont want it to reopen. B. Its really strong glue. C. I dont want to lose any more hair in the process

I wish they'd used Gaffa tape

So I had an interesting start to the day. While putting things into the boot of my car, the boot came down and the lock hit my head. As usual when I hit my head I gave it a good rub to ease the pain, but unfortnately today when I pulled my hand away, it was covered in blood! Then blood proceeded to drip everywhere. After phoning a couple of people I found someone to take me to the emergency clinic. I was slightly concerned as this friend hates the sight of blood. She had great foresight and had put a towel in her car, so that became my friend as we headed off.

I was so intrigued by this visit. I havent had to visit the A&E for years and was surprised that after waiting in the queue for a while and finally arriving at the counter the first thing I had to do was fill out paperwork. There was no question of "are you ok?" "are you in any pain?" or "do you feel faint at all?" It was simply..... you need to fill this form in and that will be $39 thank you.

The medical staff were fantastic....all asking me the same questions again and again (but I suspect they were testing me...they were worried I had concussion).

After poking, prodding and washing - they decided that it could be glued instead of stitching it up. Which they did. Unfortunately, the doctors glove somehow got glued to my head. It turned out I was going to get a haircut afterall. So they cut out the doctors glove....and the excess glue that had dribbled and then rearranged my hair so it wasnt so obvious. Now normally this would have concerned me, having my hair cut but after the headshave at make change it seems I'm much more relaxed about these things.

I am grateful for the glue, rather than stitches but I think that Gaffa tape (or duct tape, or cloth tape as some call it) would have been just as effective. It really is the tape for every occasion.

So now I am at home, resting, keeping myself alert for signs of concussion and feeling very grateful for friends who care.

A lesson learnt the hard way

I learnt a valuable lesson this week...the hard way. We've had a mum who comes to our music and movement group who has been pregnant. Early on in the pregnancy the doctors told her that the scans showed that baby had a hole in its heart. As you can imagine it was pretty devastating for them. It would been birth via C-section, an early birth and the need to go to Auckland to deliver (about 1- 1/2 hours drive). So I thought...I'm going to pray that God would heal this baby's heart so that there is no trace of any heart problems. That's what I've been doing for the last few months.

Well baby was born on Tuesday with absolutely NO heart problems of any kind!! GOD HEALED THE HEART! It was awesome!.....

Except I hadn't told the mum that I was going to pray. The sister was at playgroup talking about the frustration of all of these months of worry when there had been nothing wrong all along....I asked her about how the doctors decided that there was a problem and she talked about these tests that they had done. It sounded pretty clear that the doctors had known what they were doing.....so the only explaination that I see is that God healed the baby.

But because I hadnt said anything to them, to now say "I was praying that God would heal your baby and he has" is a little bit like closing the gate after the horse has bolted. I missed an amazing opportunity to honour God and to give him the credit for an awesome miracle. I missed an opportunity to sow seeds into the life of this family and to draw their attention to Father God.

I have learnt through the pain of regretting my omission that I need to be more bold when it comes to sharing with others. I dont ever want to feel stink like this again. So now I am praying that I can make an opportunity to still share with them about my prayers and that I can do it in such a way that they believe it to be so.

Life - its simple, but not easy

A lame answer

So I was sharing this morning at church about pain and its role in our lives and I talked about the lame guy in John 5. He'd been sick for 37 years and he's sitting by the pool where people go to get healed. Along comes Jesus and asks him "do you want to be healed?" Now you might expect that after 37 years of hoping to be healed that he would shout YES!!! with all his might. But he doesn't. He says "I can't" and goes on to give reasons (or excuses) as to why he hasnt been healed yet.

That wasnt what Jesus asked him. Jesus asked him if he WANTED to get healed, not how or why he hadnt yet. It got me thinking as I read that story about how many times in my life I have given an answer like the lame guy and it wasnt even the question Jesus was asking.

I think sometimes we can get comfortable in our 'stuff' to the point that there is a sense of comfort in it. The familiar, even with its pain, can seem easier to handle than taking a risk into the unknown.

As much as I am tempted to stick with what I know, I dont ever want to be found responding to Jesus with such a lame answer ever again. Instead I want to shout YES, YES, YES!!!

stuck in a moment

As I was sitting at my computer this morning working my way through the latest activity on facebook, blogs and my email accounts, the words to that song started playing in my mind "you've got to get yourself together you got stuck in a moment that you can't get out of"

The truth in those words at times is scary, overwhelming, convicting and challenging. Have you ever got stuck in a moment that you just dont seem to be able to get out of? There are different areas of my life where I feel stuck. Sometimes it seems that one event was a catalyst for the sticking and I either havent tried to get unstuck because there is some crazed comfort in the moment of stickyness or I'm afraid to make a move in case I go from being stuck to being sucked into the pit.

When I reflect back on moments in my life, these moments of sticking often come just after a season of 'growth' or 'favour' or 'mountaintop experiences'. They can sometimes catch me off guard...which they shouldn't really because I've recognised that this is a tactic of the devil. Yet I find myself stuck.

So what's the answer to my sticky situations? choice, repentance, grace, forgiveness, humility and determination. I wonder how many people have never reached their full potential in life because of the stickyness factor? That's certainly how I feel at times. If I don't learn how to walk through the sticky moments I fear a life of being stuck...that would be fine if my destiny in life was to be a post it note - but I suspect otherwise.

So today I am attempting to get unstuck

an unchained heart

This morning at our detox centre I was leading "spirit lifter" and I was sharing with the clients from Rob Harley's great book"going the distance". The first chapter is entitled a unchained heart and shares a number of stories including his visit to Nelson Mandella's home and the two pairs of shoes. (If you havent read this book....buy, borrow or beg) As we then talked about the kind of prison environment that he endured- one visitor once per year for 30 mins, one letter written and one letter received every 6 months and hard labour - I thought of the circumstances I find myself in at present and realise how 'easy I have it' compared to some. Sometimes I think I find it too easy to become tunnel visioned about my 'stuff' and forget about others. The longer in the tunnel I stay,the more my heart becomes chained, the harder freedom is to experience. Even though Mandella was in prison for over 25 years he never stopped believing in his destiny...that one day as an old man he might be called upon to lead his country...and so everything he did while imprisoned worked towards that end. He chose to let his circumstances work for him and not against him.

Proverbs says "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life"

Some old rocker sang "unchain my heart"

Some brothers from wayback performed "unchained melody"

I want my life to be an unchained melody - a life that speaks to the fullness of life in Christ. A life that lets negative circumstances work for me and not against me. A life that CHOOSES to live out of the goodness of God's grace and love and not wallow in the pit of despair (see Princess Bride movie for true appreciation).

learning lessons from the "generals"

So I've just finished God's Generals by Roberts Liardon - an interesting read. I've heard about the book for a while now, but have never taken the opportunity to read it...until now. The book contains spiritual biographies of John Alexander Dowie, Maria Woodworth-Etter, Evan Roberts, Charles Parham, William J Seymour, John G Lake, Aimee Semple McPherson, Smith Wigglesworth, William Branham, Jack Coe, A.A.Allen and Kathryn Kuhlman.

Some of these names were familiar to me, but I didn't necessarily know too much of their story. I was both encouraged and challenged by the accounts contained within the book.

The book finishes with some really good points about what does it take to pursue God's call and 'succeed'

1. Stay in your Call - don't try and fulfill someone else's call or their idea of what is best for you. Don't let the criticism of others push you into a corner. Too often we can latch on to the negative words people speak about us and allow them room to take root in our hearts - NO MORE!

2. Build an immunity to the things that affect you negatively - in other words, Guard your heart. If we let God lead us with HIS word, we can stand firm against the negative things in our life. Let's face it, we all know that storms WILL come, so its not a case of sticking our head in the sand and hoping we can ignore it - its about building our lives in such a way that when the storm comes, we can stand firm (like the wise builder).

3. Be daily filled with the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Jesus was empowered by the Spirit of God. The things he did, he did because of the Spirit's presence and his surrender to the Spirit's leading.

4. Don't try and stand alone - We need to surround ourselves with people who know us, and the call of God on our lives. We might be tempted to surround ourselves with "yes" people who will stroke our ego, but if we truly want to 'succeed' in all that God is calling us to, we need people who will be prepared to speak truthfully in love and journey with us.

5. Don't search scripture to use as retaliation against our accusers- anyone who is making significant impact for the kingdom is going to come up against resistance and people who want to tear us down. We need to keep a soft spirit towards them, not allowing any seeds of bitterness or resentment to take root in our lives. Let God be our defender. Let him be the one who promotes and protects.

One thing that struck me about all of these people is that they were in some ways 'ordinary' like me. They were hungry for more of God and it was this hunger that drove them to their knees to seek God. Another thing was that all of them made mistakes; some learnt from them and repented, others allowed pride to take over and ultimately cost them their ministry.

Definitely food for thought...

a woman is like tupperware...

So its mother's day and I've been thinking about tupperware....

• Tupperware is costly and I know many men who think women are costly too


• Tupperware comes in all shapes, sizes and colours and the same could be said of women


• Tupperware finds itself in all kinds of circumstances and situations - from the every day household stuff to the fancy dinner party...its adaptable and multifunctional. Women are stereotypically known for their ability to multi-task...we find ourselves needing to adapt to all kinds of circumstances and situations.


• Tupperware is passed on from generation to generation


• Tupperware has a lifetime guarantee

It's these last two thoughts about tupperware that I've been contemplating in relation to women in general but specifically myself. There are women who have lived their life in such a way that long after they have departed this earthly life, their legacy lives on. They continue to impart into others through what they left behind; their written words, their actions, their place in history as a change maker. Catherine Booth is one such woman - I am who I am today in part because of the way Catherine lived her life. Something of her life has been passed on from one generation to the next and will continue to for years to come. General Eva Burrows is another woman who is living in such a way that she will continue to bring change long after she has been promoted to glory (which I'm hoping is not for a very very long time). She demonstrates both strength and submission and inspires and encourages thousands of people from every walk of life around the world.

So I'm asking myself "what kind of legacy am I creating by how I live my life?" Will there be generations to come who will have a greater depth of life in the kingdom of God because of how I have lived my life? My hope is that I have lived a life that inspires and encourages others to give their all for the sake of the kingdom. To help others understand their place as sons and daughters of Father God and to love. I want to be someone who loves with a lifetime guarantee - that despite the ups and downs of life, the challenges and the dark times, I would continue to love and be loved......

its no time for silence!

I've been reminded again after listening to a podcast about the power of the testimony of what God is doing. As people share what God has done in their life it opens the door for God to do it in someone else's life. I have witnessed moments where someone testifys to a specific healing and as other people in the room listened to that testimony, they were healed of the same condition - without being prayed for - simply by hearing that God did it in someone else's life. I am constantly encourging the church family at Grandview to share what God is doing because they never know who might need to hear that word for themselves or their loved ones. For myself I try and fill each day with stories of what God has done and is doing. It helps to build my faith that "with God nothing is impossible".

If what we have to share could be the catalyst for someone else's miracle how can we dare stay silent. There is no story too small....it might be just an ingrown toenail to you, but for someone else it could be THE moment to radically change their life.

We owe everyone an encounter with God. If praying for people seems scary, laying hands on them a bit out of your comfort zone, start simply by telling about what God has done in your life.

REMEMBER - There is power in the testimony of God!

the greatest miracle

I know I've blogged already today but when you've got good news you want to shout it from the rooftops!!

Today at church I preached about the vision that God gave me for the corps (church). I've preached about it before but felt it was time to recast the vision - as Bill Hybels says "vision leaks". It was a great time with a few visitors in attendance. During the response time many people responded to the invitation to commit themselves to the seeking first the kingdom of God, the mission of the salvation army and the vision of the corps.

But the greatest thing happened straight after church. My administrator came up to me and said that she had just led (INSERT NAME) to the Lord. It was SO exciting. It is the greatest miracle ever when someone who was navigating life solo commits themselves to follow Jesus. We as a church now have both the privilege and responsibility to help them to grow their faith, to develop a Christ centred life and to run the race. It is not enough to see someone come into the kingdom, but we need to help them live as citizens of the kingdom, to understand their rightful position as sons and daughters of the king and to understand their inheritance.

All Glory goes to Father God.

a warrior and a worshipper

So getting back to "living life God's way" from a couple of posts ago....this morning I'm taking time to reflect on Sunday's commitment "I am committed to live my life as a warrior and a worshiper as You, Father, extend your Kingdom on earth through me." I love the picture this commitment conjures up in my heart. It it one of strength, dedication, determination, a fighting spirit....a surrendered heart, a focused heart, a soft spirit, a unequalled passion for God, an intimate relationship with a loving father, a daily choice.

Jesus is my example - he is both a warrior and a worshipper, a lion AND a lamb. He didn't walk around trying to be liked by everyone. His motivation was not a comfortable life. He wasn't nice for the sake of being nice. Following the example of Jesus we need to 'war for justice, for righteousness.'

And as a worshipper in the midst of pain, hurt and confusion I say "not my will but yours be done". As a worshipper I say that God knows best, I will trust him in the midst of whatever circumstances I am facing right now.

So today I choose to engage with life as a warrior AND a worshipper because...

to be like Jesus
this hope possesses me
in every thought and deed
this is my aim, my creed
to be like Jesus
this hope possesses me
his spirit helping me
like him I'll be

learning the hard way

So last night I learned a lesson the hard way.... all my thinking and engaging with the idea of sowing and reaping was beautifully illustrated....the hard way. Without going into detail I now have a situation that has arisen that I need to address. I didn't even bother to ask "why me, why has this happened to me?" I immediately thought back on what I've been sowing in this particular area of my life and knew that this situation is the most likely fruit from what I'd been sowing. It didnt happen overnight....but it did happen. Many little decisions made- each a seed sown and now I get to reap the results of that - no pity party, no poor me...just a clearer understanding of the life lesson I've been working on lately.

So now I need to work my way through this......an opportunity for growth (and I'm gonna keep telling myself that until I'm through it)

sowing & reaping

So its been a few days since I blogged - being away from both internet access and the space to pause and think about something to say. The last few days I've been thinking about the kingdom principle of 'sowing and reaping'.

I've been using "Leadership Jesus Way" material at our small group entitled "living life God's way" that has been adapted from Dennis Peacock's teaching. It has a different commitment for each day of the week. Wednesday's commitment is this:

"I am committed to accept full responsibility for my actions and reactions as we strategically plant the crops of life."

At the end of the day I shouldn't be surprised by the 'crops' I reap in my life....if I take time to look at what I've been sowing - the crop will be the fruit from those seeds. The thoughts, attitudes and actions I operate in today will determine tomorrow's crops.

Now I'm no gardener, but I understand weeds well. If weeds are left unattended they will quietly and quickly take over the whole garden and they become the dominant plant. Some will actually choke other plants trying to grow. The best way to deal with weeds (besides concrete of course) is to deal with them quickly, regularly and carefully. Don't let them have time to take root....when removing them, take care...you never know what they've tangled their roots around.

In my life I need to deal quickly, regularly and carefully with the negative things that are in my life. If I allow them time and space to take root they will begin to take over and choke the life out of the good things in my life. I am attempting to try and deal with my attitudes as soon as I can, not allowing those negative attitudes to take root.

Scripture says "in your anger do not sin". Many people think this means that anger in itself is a negative thing. However I understand anger to be a secondary emotion - produced because of another emotion (ie I feel anger because I feel betrayed, hurt, jealous...). It is not the anger that is the problem but what we do while angry that the bible is warning us about. I was recently in a position of feeling angry about a circumstance. Part of what was going on was that I was surprised by the anger I was feeling and I felt I needed time to process with Jesus what was triggering this response so that I could 'deal with it'. I had a couple of people try and talk to me about the situation straight away - my response was "I can't do this right now - I can't talk about it" and I needed to walk away. Now some might say that was a wrong response, I should have simply smiled and said "no worries mate". But I knew enough about how I was feeling to know that it had the potential to be a situation where I would say something I would regret, causing damage to relationships and to the well being of the other people concerned. For me, it came down to "in your anger do not sin".

Did I handle the situation perfectly...absolutely not. But Jesus has used it as an opportunity for learning and growth for me. I have been able to see some 'seeds'that I had allowed to take root rather than deal with quickly.

This principle is so vital to the life of a dynamic disciple. The Holy Spirit is key to helping us take this principle and making it a life message - one that is shared by living it.

we're all in this together

It's a catchy song..well both of them are. One is the song used for the ad campaign for the Salvation Army, the other is off high school musical....I get them mixed up sometimes.

Today I don't feel that we are living up to it. Today it feels like I have been banging my head against a brick wall. I'm trying to get things done and feeling like I'm being made to jump through hoops....frustrating to say the least. Today it feels like I'm one on side and someone else is on the other and its a challenge to see 'who's going to win'.

It got me thinking about my role in other people's circumstances. Do I frustrate their plans? Do I push my own agenda on their stuff? How much control do I try and exert on situations instead of helping?

The whole idea of serving at times gets lost I think amongst our own ego's and agendas. It is a constant challenge I think.

That line of the christmas song "Gentle Jesus MEEK and mild" Do we really understand what being meek is about? Meekness is not a way to describe a pushover, a weakling, a wet blanket.

Meekness is "Mild of temper; not easily provoked or orritated; patient under injuries; not vain, or haughty, or resentful; forbearing;" Now that's a challenge!

REACTOR

So at the corps we are attempting to "seek first the kingdom of God" in all we do. A defintion of the kingdom that has been really helpful is "The re-establishment of God's rule in the lives of individuals and society" (Dennis Peacock via Ivan Bezzant) We've attempted to name all our groups using words beginning with RE so that we are always reminded of what the kingdom is about.

Women's group - relate (aren't women famous for their ability to relate to one another?)
Men's group - reload (it conjurs up images of hunting and manly stuff like that....so I'm told)

Youth group has been a challenge...what to call it? While there are over 2000 words beginning with RE, not all of them are suitable.

An idea floated by one person was "rejects" but we weren't too sure how a friend would feel being invited to come along to "REJECTS".

Its finally been decided to use the name "REACTOR" - its an anagram for Creator - and after all we are made in the image of our creator.

We are also in the world to bring change and provoke a response to the Kingdom....so REACTOR it is.

Feels good to have the name sorted...now we just have to live up to it!

....still I will say "blessed be the name of the Lord"

This week has been a week of absolute tragedy for many in our nation. With the death of a man struck by lightening and then the drowning of 6 students and their teacher while on a school trip. It has been a week where the Kingdom of God has been demonstrated in a most powerful way. The faith of Christians has been on display for all to see and observe as they sought to grapple with the worst thing they could have imagined, the loss of their children, their siblings, their friends.
I have been so impressed with the way they have allowed the media in on their grief, portraying a very real response to the circumstances and a very real faith being exercised in the midst of it all.

Some quotes that have gripped me...

This from an article speaking to the father of Natasha Bray "Someone asked Mr Bray if his belief was being tested. His reply was forthright, even startling in a secular world. 'It absolutely tests my faith in God. This is another chink in the armour and tests my belief. We are saying to God, 'why has this happened? Where does this fit into your plan? I don't have an answer to that, sorry, but I do have a place in my heart to go.. I am just so glad that I know how to handle these things and know where I can take my grief."

Danie Vermeulen (board of trustees chairperson) "what you are experiencing here, its real. It's not a religion, it's a real practical thing and it's touching people and pulling them together"

Simply because we follow Jesus does not make us exempt or immune from challenging times, from pain and grief. But what these people have shown us is that through those circumstances we can have a hope beyond the grave. We have someone that we can run to....we can go to that place where despite not understanding it, or feeling it, we can still say "blessed be the name of the Lord". We can still say God is good. It may be that everything around us sucks right now, that darkness has closed in on us....but God is still Father God, he is sovereign and he grieves along with us.

When the pressure is on, what is inside us will come out...the question I have to keep asking is "what am I inputting into my life? What kind of life am I building? Am I building in such a way that when the storms of life come (and they will come) that I can remain standing?

I want to live my life in such a way that when the pain is so excruciating I can say "I don't have the answers to why....but I do have a place in my heart where I can go"...that place where God is still on the throne.

2 L8 4 V8?

The V8 car racing has arrived in Hamilton at long last. It's been months of preparation for this weekend. It's good that its finally arrived. As I was driving through town yesterday afternoon watching all the bars get their outdoor seating areas set up for the influx of people, seeing the various businesses promoting themselves in various car themes and seeing the masses of people who are suddenly in our city, I had this sinking feeling....

What am I doing? Where will the Salvation Army be this weekend? I know The Nest are selling sausages to raise money for the community ministries in the city...but what about at night, when the racing is done for the day, and the thousands of people are wandering the streets, getting boozed up, possibly getting themselves into all kinds of mischief or trouble. Where are we then? Tucked up in our beds? Watching tv in our homes, oblivious to what's happening around us?

I had this sinking feeling that we as a city had missed an amazing opportunity to bring Jesus into the midst of it all.

So now I'm sitting here thinking...what can I do? It's not necessarily the wisest thing to head into the city on my own late at night. What can I even offer people? I even went so far as to think what could I wear? I have no coat that would say "here's the salvation army" and the weather is such that I wouldn't last 3 minutes wearing my uniform as such.

I'm disappointed in myself for not thinking about it sooner, to be able to rally some troops so we could head into the city and do something.....

So I'm thinking about it over the day and who knows what might happen tonight...I'm hoping for a God inspired and directed idea that I can run with at such late notice and without a lot of troops.

Gutted.....but hopeful

Jesus plays rugby

So I've just come home from a rugby game...crusaders vs chiefs. I won't get into the sad details of the game. At one point though a player was sin binned and the funniest conversation took place behind me.

Guy who wasn't watching: "who just got sent off"

Girl with him: "oh it was that Jesus guy"

Let me offer an interpretation for you "that Jesus guy" is the guy with the long shaggy hair and beard. It got me thinking about how do people connect me with Jesus. I would be in serious trouble if the way people would connect me with him is if I grow my hair shaggy and attempt to grow a beard!!!!

The evidence of Jesus in my life must surely come from me spending time with him and he rubbing off on me in such a way that when people interact with me, Jesus is visible. So I don't think its enough to simply dress like him or have a Jesus haircut or saviour stubble.

Although I do really like the idea that Jesus plays rugby.

Freegans

So one of the things I learnt about while I was in Dunedin at Just Action and Freedom Congress was DUMPSTER DIVING. I don't recall ever hearing about it as an activity done in connection to our "wasteful" society. I knew that homeless people have searched through dumpsters in order to survive on the street....but never others doing it. Hat tip to Hania Aitken for educating me on the whole phenomenon.

So today I was looking at http://www.news.com/ and saw an article about dumper diving. Those who regularly rely on the goods from dumpsters are known as "Freegans"

www.news.com.au/business/money/story/0,25479,23554795-14327,00.html

One guy Ashwyn Falkingham, has been dumpster diving for 5 years and has had not had grocery bills for those 5 years except for the odd condiments. "It’s entirely possible for someone with a fridge and freezer to dumpster-dive once a week and do the equivalent of a weekly shop," The mind begins to boggle thinking of the wastage that must occur in supermarkets if that is possible.

Here are the tips for safe dumpster diving according to http://www.news.com/

*Avoid bins behind locked gates or which are clearly marked with no trespass signs.

*Wear tough clothing and shoes and carry a torch.

*If security asks you to leave, don’t argue

*Dive with a partner or in a group (especially for women).

*Avoid bins associated with medical practices, hospitals or any other bins that may contain hazardous waste and materials.

*Don’t take people’s paperwork or personal information.

*If it smells like bleach or rat poison, don’t touch it, it may have been put there deliberately to discourage people scavenging.

*Don’t leave a mess.

*Leave enough for someone else

It's definitely food for thought.

Home Invasion

Don't freak out...my home hasn't been invaded....well not my actual building. Let me explain.
Today I was in a discussion with some great people. We were talking about the kingdom of God and understanding what it is... what do we mean when we say "we want to see the kingdom of God coming down.." afterall isn't the kingdom of God within us?

For me an easy way to understand the Kingdom is that I want the reality of heaven to be the reality of earth. What goes in heaven, goes in earth. Whatever the atmosphere in heaven...is it the same here on earth? If not then I want heaven's reality to become my reality. I want my 'temporary' home to be invaded by my eternal home. I understand there to be no sickness in heaven...so I will continue to pursue that reality here on earth. I will continue to pursue the life of Christ at all cost.

Jesus said "seek first the kingdom of God". That is a massive challenge for me because sometimes I want to pursue my own interests, my own desires or agenda. But if that agenda doesnt line up with the agenda of the kingdom, one of them has to give way. My prayer is that I will always lay my agenda down in favour of the kingdom.

I love what God is doing around the world. I love the stories emerging of God doing miraculous things and bringing healing and wholeness to people's lives. Yes I can tell people about Jesus and the Kingdom of God but I also need to demonstrate the kingdom, otherwise I'm just like a door to door salesman, trying to sell something I dont believe in, or have no personal experience of.

So I'm praying for God to continue to invade my "home", my life, my church and my community.

Bob the Builder

My Friend Major Bob Millar was promoted to glory (Salvation Army term for when a solider dies) yesterday. I'm still trying to believe it myself. I just saw him in Dunedin a couple of weeks ago and since he signed up to facebook, we've been keeping tabs on each other!

I dont remember the circumstances under which I first met Bob but I know I was still quite young and newish to the army. Bob always made me feel significant. He would always hunt me out in a room full of people to talk to me, and see how I was going and to check I was still a Cantaburian at heart.

Seeing Bob a couple of weeks ago was great....even more so now. I wish I had bucket loads of savings so I could just hop on a plane and head down for the funeral on Saturday. Having already checked out the flights, this is impossible. So my tribute to Bob will have to be the next best thing. I am going to the Crusaders vs Chiefs game on Saturday here in Hamilton and I will be yelling extra loud for Bob!

What I love about Bob is that he loves people. Check out his blog www.millarbug.blogspot.com and you'll see that God was still teaching him how to love people more. Bob was a builder - a builder of the Kingdom of God and of people's dignity and sense of worth. I know that there will be many many people who will come out of the woodworks for his funeral on saturday. There will be many who this will be the first time they enter through the doors of a church.....I pray it wont be the last. My prayer is that Bob's passing will be the catalyst for many to enter into the kingdom and in the family of God.....so that even in death, Bob remains a builder of people and the Kingdom.

So Bob I salute you today, as a man of God who loved Jesus and people.....& the crusaders.

xxx

Timber.....

Many years ago, the Employment Plus scheme that is situated right next door to my corps came up with a brillant scheme of planting christmas trees to be harvested and sold to raise some money. A great idea! Somewhere along the way, perhaps due to changing staff members, these trees were forgotten about. There was no harvest, there was no selling, there was no money. Instead these trees were left to simply grow....and grow they did. They kept growing until they became a forrest of very tall trees.

So last year I arrived to the corps and one of the things we did early on was have a working bee to try and clean up the "forrest". It had become a great place to drink and discard the empty bottles it would seem. A neighbourhood watch meeting had been called by the residents whose properties backed onto ours.

Later in the year we had a really strong wind storm. One young woman actually lost her life when she was struck by a falling tree near the university. It was really windy!!! One of the beloved Christmas trees decided it wanted to "lie down" and proceeded to crash through the fence at employment plus. This was a blessing. You see had it fallen sideways it would have gone crashing right through one of our 40 retirement units, doing serious damage to the property and perhaps the person living there. So something had to be done. The trees were far too unstable to stay....even though they looked great.

Much discussion and debate took place. I love trees and while I didnt really like the idea that we would have to chop them down, I liked the idea of losing residents even less.

So on Thursday the sound of chainsaws and bulldozers could be heard as the Christmas trees finally came down.

It got me thinking about how a great idea left undone became a problem and how a tree left unpruned became a danger to others.

As much as I don't like being pruned, it is necessary for proper growth. The problem with those christmas trees is that their roots system was not stable enough to hold the height they had grown to. I need to make sure I have strong roots in Christ in order to support and nurture my growth, otherwise when the storms of life come.....I'll crash into a fence or worse yet.....hurt someone along the way.

So today I choose to embrace the pruning of God, to enable me to grow tall AND strong in him

they protesteth too much

So I've been thinking about protests over the last few days. You only have to watch the news or check it on the internet to see the on going protests that are associated with the Olympic torch relay to know that protesting is alive and well in the world. It has been a well used method of action in countries all over the world for all kinds of causes. Some protests are non-violent, others cause bloodshed and mayhem.

There were some lively discussions around protests at JustAction08 and Freedom Congress and I guess this is what got me thinking a little harder about protests. Now I'm no expert,I havent been to that many protests over the years. I did start one when I was 10 because the school would not allow girls to play rugby at lunchtime with the boys. So my friend and I gathered together all the girls we could find (including the 5 year olds who didnt even know what rugby was and made a stand!) but my thoughts lead me at the moment towards the idea that sometimes a protest is the best thing and sometimes its not. Sometimes a protest will actually highlight an issue that otherwise would have been swept under the carpet.

However I also think that there are sometimes where a protest would actually damage the cause of change. Instead of opening the way for positive change to occur, it might actually close the door and bolt it shut. I wonder if its possible to love the idea of a protest more than the idea of change?

Thinking about the dialogues taking place last week...I was leaning towards a definate need to address the valid concerns being raised....but a live protest at congress would have bolted that door shut tight and it would have far reaching consequences that I'm not sure many had thought too much about.

So next week I am involved in the planning of an upcoming event and I will be bringing to the table the concerns raised last week, in order that we might be able to make positive changes to begin to turn the tide around. Its not a cop-out.....its the best step forward for this issue at this time in this setting.

There will be another day for another protest, but today is not that day.

Love vs Lust

I have been reminded again by God of my natural tendancy to live a life motivated by lust instead of love. Now for some the very mention of the word lust would suggest a 'sexual context' - so for the purposes of clarity let me offer a definition of both words.

Love - is for the benefit of others
- desires to give
- even at the expense of self

Lust - is for the benefit of self
- desires to get
- even at the expense of others

So often when I reflect at the end of the day on my thoughts, actions, words and reactions, they are sadly leaning towards a lustful motivation. When I reflect on the thoughts, actions, words and reactions of Christ, his was a love orientated lifestyle.

So I repent of my lust and seek to pursue a life of love....love for God, for others and for myself.

As I'm trying to intentionally think each day about issues of justice I am struck by how the various issues of justice that are impacting our world are motivated out of 'lust' rather than love....

(just to name a few)

human trafficking
chocolate slaves
marginalisation of the poor
domestic violence
HIV/Aids

All of those contributing to the injustice are desiring to get at the expense of others. But I wonder how many of us respond to injustice from a lustful motivation? How long has it taken me to think differently about these matters because it was about me, me, me and what was in it for me, or what impact it would have on my life, and my circumstances

eek! How wrong was I!!

So today I choose to live a live of love......kicking lust to the curb and saying hasta la vista baby!

signed

a recovering pharisee