entering the male domain - promise keepers night

Last night I took two of the guys from church to a promise keepers training night - what an experience! David Murrow the author of the book "why men hate church" was here in NZ and the training event was advertised as everyone welcome and pastors welcome.....so I thought well I fit in the category of "everyone" & I'm a pastor & I'm definately interested in why men hate church - so I went.

Ladies.....you know how your husbands/partners/boyfriends/brothers start to look really uncomfortable when you head towards the lingere department....I understand how they feel. As I walked in there was a moment when I thought.....where do I look? Where can I hide? Surely there is some other female in this building? I think it was a case of being unable to just 'blend in' with the crowd! That feeling soon passed and I really enjoyed the evening.

There were some stereotypes in play throughout the evening. It could have appeared that all men love rugby, hunting and powertools while all women love needlecraft, cooking and handbags....which is definately not the case. We have to be so careful that we dont make sweeping assumptions on either side of the gender issue.

4 Reasons why Men hate church

1. They think its for women, weirdos & wimps

2. They think it is a waste of their time

3. The christian culture leans towards the feminine

4. It's hard for men to win at church.

He went on to talk about how to "MAN UP" your church

He started by asking all the pastors to raise their hands (which I did)

He then said the first thing Pastors is that you have to "be a man"! I laughed along with the guys around me, and so he told me that I didnt have to (whew). The funny thing was that the description he then went on to give of how to be a man, I would do all of those things anyway - 1. bring vision to the pulpit, 2. take firm stands on issues, 3. be a regular 'guy' not a religious 'guy' and if you do man stuff like go to the rugby, talk about it at church. Well I never realised that I was doing "man stuff" by watching the rugby :)

As I listened to everything he was sharing I've decided that I am not a 'typical' girl according to his theories etc. You see I love war stories, action movies, sports, Cooking on the BBQ and I hate flowers in church, needlecraft and holding hands with the person next to you at church.

An old dude came up to me after the sessions ended and quizzed me on whether I was a pastor. I said yeah and explained my situation. He then asked me if I learnt heaps and was now going to go away and make all the needed changes etc. I had to explain to him that I'm not the 'typical' woman and that our church is already naturally doing a lot of what was described so it wasnt really earth shattering revelation, but more highlighting little things. He seemed quite surprised.

I decided that God has wired me as I am for a reason, and I think my wiring has helped me as a sole corps officer to run a reasonably male friendly church. I learnt heaps and will certainly investigate the topic more.

David has now written a new book written for women and the part they play in getting men to church. I would certianly encourage pple to read both books and look into the whole area of why men hate church and what can be done to turn around the situation.....

and lets unite to get rid of plastic flowers!!!!!