God, Suffering and Justice....

I am enrolled in a paper at Uni this semester that is proving to be a real challenge in many ways. I enrolled in it thinking it would be really interesting and it wasn't until the first lecture that its full title came to my attention; God, Suffering and Justice in the Hebrew Scriptures. Now this has caused me somewhat of a headache as the weeks have progressed. If we are only looking at the Hebrew scriptures we cannot take into account the New Testament. We cannot bring Jesus the Messiah into our thinking and there is a real sense for me in which I feel like I'm only watching the first half of a movie and being asked to draw my conclusions from that. It is proving to be quite difficult.

I am currently researching my second assignment which is about the legal motif in the book of Job and in the face of the Holocaust is it justifiable to even try and justify the goodness of God.

My head is full! One thing I have come to learn is that there is much mystery in life. I don't have all the answers (and neither does anyone else). We must some how come to terms with the unanswered questions and let them drive us towards God, rather than away. If we let them drive us away from God we are far less likely to ever discover the answers to the deep painful questions we are asking.

I have been quite captured by a statement Bill Johnson (senior pastor of Bethel Church, Redding, CA) made after his father died. He basically said that in that moment he realised he had the opportunity to give God a praise offering that he could only give, this side of eternity. Grief and loss and pain is only experienced this side of heaven. In heaven there is no pain, no loss, no grief and so this was a moment where he could offer something incredibly sacred and precious. Did he still grieve for his dad, sure, what son wouldn't? But he refused to allow the loss he felt to separate him from God, allowing it instead to draw him in closer.

I'm not sure I will be able to give my lecturer a satisfactory answer, but I know that despite the lack of understanding I have at times and the questions I have yet to answer, that God is good, he is loving and he has broad enough shoulders to take our questions, our pain and yes even our accusations against his character. Job questioned, Job challenged and God engaged with Job.

I pray that I might find the strength and grace to present an offering of Praise even in the midst of my darkest days.

the airpoints fairy is real!

I was chatting online to a friend a couple of nights ago and they asked me if I was going to be in their neck of the world in Nov (their neck of the world is a part I've never been to, namely the UK). I said I wish...we talked a bit about a chance to speak at an event if by some miracle happened to be there.

I then updated both facebook and twitter saying I wish I knew where the airpoints fairy lived as I could do with some more airpoints.

Today on twitter I got a tweet from @AirpointsFairy saying that my wish had been granted and she was giving me $500 worth of airpoints, I just needed to direct message her my details.

Now I'm not one to be scammed to easily so I rang AirNZ and the person I spoke to had never heard of this fairy.

So after a couple of tweets & DM back and forth I got an email address. So I rang AirNZ again to see if this person really did work there....and sure enough she did!

So I sent through my details and 5 mins later I had $500 more of airpoints in my account.

Apparently my tweet had inspired her - how cool is that.

So my balance is still not yet enough to get to the neck of the woods Ive never been too, but I'm thinking that maybe a few more cool as things like that may happen and I might just make it....if not I can at least go and visit Gonzo, Ma and Pa in australia.

So if you are on twitter follow @AirpointsFairy and if you're not, then join up and follow them (and me of course @theshar)

faces, friendship & focus

I realised yesterday as I was searching my blog for something I'd posted about last year, that I haven't blogged for way too long.

Last week I was at Manifest Presence Conference 2009 with guest speakers Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton & Martin Steel. This was my third conference and each year has built on the previous.

This year I had a simple prayer - I wanted to encounter God deeper than I have before, to know him better, to see his manifest presence more than ever before.

God answered that prayer. I asked to see God's face and like Moses, God showed me his goodness. I had an incredible sense of God's desire for friendship with me. It was very overwhelming. There was a sense in which I felt God changing my spiritual DNA, that I would never again be the same. I came away with a new sense of focus for my life, my relationships with others and most of all my relationship with God.

I updated my status afterwards with this statement "Words don't do it justice, I'll just live it" - and that is really where its at. I cannot describe in words what God did in my life over the week. Any words I attempt to use to explain or capture the experience will simply place a limit on what happened. So my best option is to simply live the change that took place. I now live from a new reality, a new level of encounter and understanding of Father God and my place in his kingdom.

I know that there are those who will not understand, who will choose to mock, judge or ridicule...but I'm ok with that. Noone can convince me otherwise. My prayer is that everyone will come into an experience of the fullness of God's love that I have experienced.

God's goodness is to be declared to all the nations of the world - I'm up for that!