storms

Wow have we had some crazy weather this week. In the early hours of yesterday morning, my friend Rebecca and I found ourselves texting each other to see if the other was awake. You see there was thunder and lightening having a party in the sky and it was pretty loud and slightly scary. Its kind of nice to know that someone else is awake somewhere close by too....slightly comforting somehow.

I learnt as a kid to see the lightening and then count until you hear the thunder and that gives you an idea of how far away the lightening really is. This 'scientific' method only gives me comfort in part. Sometimes there doesnt seem to be any thunder in between the flashes of lightening....but most often the lightening seems way closer than the thunder, or the thunder is really loud even though according to my count it should be very distant....now any weather enthusaists out there, please forgive my ignorance about these matters.

It has got me thinking though, about the storms that I face in life. Sometimes I can blow them right out of proportion. Things can seem so much worse than they are. My little bit of knowledge can actually be harmful to me if I dont take the time to explore the issue wider, or allow God to speak into the situation. Sometimes I'm convinced that this particular storm is signaling my soon demise - that I will be struck down by the lightening so to speak. Sometimes in the midst of the storm I think I am all alone and that no one else experiences what I go through and so I tend to isolate myself from the hope and help that I need to persevere.

I certainly dont aspire to be a storm chaser by any means, but I do wish to be a stormtrooper....someone who carries on through the other side of a storm, and is all the better for it.

don't pick that scab

So it seems that I've pretty much retained my right mind after yesterday's encounter with the car boot. But now I have this big scab like blob on the back of my head....and all I want to do is pick it off. You know what its like when as a kid you egot a big scab on your knee. did you ever get told that if you pick your scabs you could end up damaging your kidneys? I certainly did. I have no idea of the logic of it but it was meant to be a deterant to the temptation of picking.

Apparently they are 'designed' to simply fall off when they are no longer needed by the body...and that whole itchy thing is part of it all. Yet as a kid scabs very rarely 'fell off'. Usually I picked at them until they came off and the blood would ooze again, indicating that I was a little premature in my removal of the scab.

I think that there are times in our lives where scabs can form in our lives, and they are there for our protection and health. When we are hurt I think sometimes 'scabs' form to stop us 'bleeding to death' or getting 'infected'. Scabs are not designed to stay around forever, so I'm not suggesting that scabs build up in our lives when we experience pain and we carry them around forever. I do, however think that a moment will come when the 'scab' will come off and we are able to deal with the situation. That timeframe can be anywhere from a few days to a few years. God will not give us more than we can handle and I think that the 'scab' is one way of 'plugging' a wound up so that we can deal with it when we are able. I have had more than one friend who experienced some form of abuse as small children. In their state as children they were unable to deal or heal....but as they grew older and either became christians, or grew in their intimacy with Father God, a moment came for each of them where the scab fell off and healing took place.

I've experienced that in my own life....key moments where 'scabs' fell off and I was able to deal with that which had wounded. The temptation will always be there to pick at scabs.....but that will just cause more blood, more pain and a new scab to have to grow.

So I'm leaving the glue on my head for a couple of reasons....A. I dont want it to reopen. B. Its really strong glue. C. I dont want to lose any more hair in the process

I wish they'd used Gaffa tape

So I had an interesting start to the day. While putting things into the boot of my car, the boot came down and the lock hit my head. As usual when I hit my head I gave it a good rub to ease the pain, but unfortnately today when I pulled my hand away, it was covered in blood! Then blood proceeded to drip everywhere. After phoning a couple of people I found someone to take me to the emergency clinic. I was slightly concerned as this friend hates the sight of blood. She had great foresight and had put a towel in her car, so that became my friend as we headed off.

I was so intrigued by this visit. I havent had to visit the A&E for years and was surprised that after waiting in the queue for a while and finally arriving at the counter the first thing I had to do was fill out paperwork. There was no question of "are you ok?" "are you in any pain?" or "do you feel faint at all?" It was simply..... you need to fill this form in and that will be $39 thank you.

The medical staff were fantastic....all asking me the same questions again and again (but I suspect they were testing me...they were worried I had concussion).

After poking, prodding and washing - they decided that it could be glued instead of stitching it up. Which they did. Unfortunately, the doctors glove somehow got glued to my head. It turned out I was going to get a haircut afterall. So they cut out the doctors glove....and the excess glue that had dribbled and then rearranged my hair so it wasnt so obvious. Now normally this would have concerned me, having my hair cut but after the headshave at make change it seems I'm much more relaxed about these things.

I am grateful for the glue, rather than stitches but I think that Gaffa tape (or duct tape, or cloth tape as some call it) would have been just as effective. It really is the tape for every occasion.

So now I am at home, resting, keeping myself alert for signs of concussion and feeling very grateful for friends who care.

A lesson learnt the hard way

I learnt a valuable lesson this week...the hard way. We've had a mum who comes to our music and movement group who has been pregnant. Early on in the pregnancy the doctors told her that the scans showed that baby had a hole in its heart. As you can imagine it was pretty devastating for them. It would been birth via C-section, an early birth and the need to go to Auckland to deliver (about 1- 1/2 hours drive). So I thought...I'm going to pray that God would heal this baby's heart so that there is no trace of any heart problems. That's what I've been doing for the last few months.

Well baby was born on Tuesday with absolutely NO heart problems of any kind!! GOD HEALED THE HEART! It was awesome!.....

Except I hadn't told the mum that I was going to pray. The sister was at playgroup talking about the frustration of all of these months of worry when there had been nothing wrong all along....I asked her about how the doctors decided that there was a problem and she talked about these tests that they had done. It sounded pretty clear that the doctors had known what they were doing.....so the only explaination that I see is that God healed the baby.

But because I hadnt said anything to them, to now say "I was praying that God would heal your baby and he has" is a little bit like closing the gate after the horse has bolted. I missed an amazing opportunity to honour God and to give him the credit for an awesome miracle. I missed an opportunity to sow seeds into the life of this family and to draw their attention to Father God.

I have learnt through the pain of regretting my omission that I need to be more bold when it comes to sharing with others. I dont ever want to feel stink like this again. So now I am praying that I can make an opportunity to still share with them about my prayers and that I can do it in such a way that they believe it to be so.

Life - its simple, but not easy

A lame answer

So I was sharing this morning at church about pain and its role in our lives and I talked about the lame guy in John 5. He'd been sick for 37 years and he's sitting by the pool where people go to get healed. Along comes Jesus and asks him "do you want to be healed?" Now you might expect that after 37 years of hoping to be healed that he would shout YES!!! with all his might. But he doesn't. He says "I can't" and goes on to give reasons (or excuses) as to why he hasnt been healed yet.

That wasnt what Jesus asked him. Jesus asked him if he WANTED to get healed, not how or why he hadnt yet. It got me thinking as I read that story about how many times in my life I have given an answer like the lame guy and it wasnt even the question Jesus was asking.

I think sometimes we can get comfortable in our 'stuff' to the point that there is a sense of comfort in it. The familiar, even with its pain, can seem easier to handle than taking a risk into the unknown.

As much as I am tempted to stick with what I know, I dont ever want to be found responding to Jesus with such a lame answer ever again. Instead I want to shout YES, YES, YES!!!

stuck in a moment

As I was sitting at my computer this morning working my way through the latest activity on facebook, blogs and my email accounts, the words to that song started playing in my mind "you've got to get yourself together you got stuck in a moment that you can't get out of"

The truth in those words at times is scary, overwhelming, convicting and challenging. Have you ever got stuck in a moment that you just dont seem to be able to get out of? There are different areas of my life where I feel stuck. Sometimes it seems that one event was a catalyst for the sticking and I either havent tried to get unstuck because there is some crazed comfort in the moment of stickyness or I'm afraid to make a move in case I go from being stuck to being sucked into the pit.

When I reflect back on moments in my life, these moments of sticking often come just after a season of 'growth' or 'favour' or 'mountaintop experiences'. They can sometimes catch me off guard...which they shouldn't really because I've recognised that this is a tactic of the devil. Yet I find myself stuck.

So what's the answer to my sticky situations? choice, repentance, grace, forgiveness, humility and determination. I wonder how many people have never reached their full potential in life because of the stickyness factor? That's certainly how I feel at times. If I don't learn how to walk through the sticky moments I fear a life of being stuck...that would be fine if my destiny in life was to be a post it note - but I suspect otherwise.

So today I am attempting to get unstuck

an unchained heart

This morning at our detox centre I was leading "spirit lifter" and I was sharing with the clients from Rob Harley's great book"going the distance". The first chapter is entitled a unchained heart and shares a number of stories including his visit to Nelson Mandella's home and the two pairs of shoes. (If you havent read this book....buy, borrow or beg) As we then talked about the kind of prison environment that he endured- one visitor once per year for 30 mins, one letter written and one letter received every 6 months and hard labour - I thought of the circumstances I find myself in at present and realise how 'easy I have it' compared to some. Sometimes I think I find it too easy to become tunnel visioned about my 'stuff' and forget about others. The longer in the tunnel I stay,the more my heart becomes chained, the harder freedom is to experience. Even though Mandella was in prison for over 25 years he never stopped believing in his destiny...that one day as an old man he might be called upon to lead his country...and so everything he did while imprisoned worked towards that end. He chose to let his circumstances work for him and not against him.

Proverbs says "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life"

Some old rocker sang "unchain my heart"

Some brothers from wayback performed "unchained melody"

I want my life to be an unchained melody - a life that speaks to the fullness of life in Christ. A life that lets negative circumstances work for me and not against me. A life that CHOOSES to live out of the goodness of God's grace and love and not wallow in the pit of despair (see Princess Bride movie for true appreciation).