the gift of creation

Its the last day of our block course (Grace & Gifts in Paul). My mind is playing catch up due to the session I had to miss to be present at my summer school papers. Thank goodness for teacher's notes and voice recorders.

As I type we are talking about The environment and applying everything we've been looking at in regard to the environment.

This will be an incredibly short post - I'm simply captured and now pondering on a statement the lecturer made...

"The goal of creaton is not just to exist and survive - but to give and be given to"

How good are we at 'taking' from creation! How good are we at giving TO creation?

getting the right grade!

For 4 weeks now my life has been revolving around journals, essays, tests and dance performances. For four weeks now I've been bumping into an old enemy - perfection!

Somewhere along the way my brain decided that unless I got 100% in an assessment of any kind, I had otherwise failed. 99% meant that there was 1% missing. The old saying "C"'s get degrees, while true, has done little to combat the beast of perfection in my life.

The pressure that I somehow end up exerting on myself to achieve that perfect score is silly - and so time consuming!

Today I am facing a test and a dance assessment for Tonga. With everything that's been going on this week (a block course on top of usual study) I feel very under prepared for what I am about to face.

This morning as I walked to Uni I felt the Lord remind me of the account of Jesus at his baptism. Jesus had done no public ministry at that point. There is no account of healing or miracles or grand declarations about the kingdom of God.

Yet here God is declaring to Jesus that "you are my son in whom I have great delight" (depending on your translation).

What? Can that be right? Can Jesus really be delighting the Father simply by being and not doing?

I am reminded again today that perfection doesn't look like me - it looks like Jesus.

I don't need to score 100% in life because the fullness of life is not found in a score but in a saviour - Jesus.

So instead of panicking and already beating myself up for failing before I've even attempted anything, I'm going to try and dance like no ones watching ...

grace

While I'm in Dunedin for summer school I am also (this week) involved in a block course for one of my semester one papers. Its called Grace in Paul and is looking at the concept of Grace through Paul's writings.

Yesterday we talked about grace and gifts. The whole 'art' of gift giving around the world and its significance. is there such a thing as a gift with no strings attached? Is there ever a "free lunch"? Why is it that in some parts of the world (like NZ) we find it hard to accept gifts from others - and sometimes we find it hard to give a gift instead demanding it be anonymous....

So much to think about....

In thinking about where the word grace is used these days (outside of the church walls) my mind immediately went to U2 and their song grace...

"Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name

Grace
It's a name for a girl
It's also a thought that
Changed the world

And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness
In everything
Grace
She's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside
Of karma, karma
She travels outside Of karma

When she goes to work
You can hear the strings
Grace finds beauty
In everything

Grace
She carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips
Between her fingertips
She carries a pearl
In perfect condition

What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings

Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things

Grace finds beauty
In everything

Grace finds goodness
In everything "

We may not all bear the name Grace but we certainly can live the life...

breaking up is hard to do....

I've got that song in my head "breaking up is hard to do" - I've no idea why except that I've been thinking about brokenness lately and life and letting go of things that I hold onto that perhaps aren't necessary or beneficial.

The song is true that breaking up is hard to do - especially when you're breaking up because you know you need to, rather than because you want to. Sometimes there can be relationships in our life that don't bring out the best in us. Sometimes its that they hold us back from taking a leap of faith, sometimes they are just too comfortable or familiar and we hold onto them like a security blanket or imaginary friend.

I've had some time lately to think about my life - about what makes it up. Am I living a life without regret or fear? Am I living a life that honors Jesus? Am I living a life worthy of the call he has placed on me?

What I've come to realise as I have pondered (and perhaps its more a case of being reminded again rather than learning it for the first time) is that for me a necessary quality of my life must be brokenness - without it I am full of pride, selfish ambition, isolation, stubbornness and all sorts of things that lead me away from the very life I long to live and towards a life that will be marred by regret & fear.

The downer about brokenness is that we have to allow ourselves to be broken...

There is pain in the breaking - in fact - it can suck - when we lose sight of why and who and what for...

I can feel a stirring inside, a longing for a life that's produced through the process of breaking.

So in order to life that life and follow that call and be that broken I need to break up....

with thoughts, actions, words and reactions...

and embrace the one who breaks me...

I've taken up the idea of theme songs lately (a little bit like Ally McBeal but without the dancing baby)

Today I've really found a song by Joel Houston of Hillsong United really helpful in helping me find words to express the cry of my heart....

"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out"

So I'm crying out in the midst of the chaos that is my life for God to break me - I want to be consumed by Him in every fibre of my being.

I finish with one of my life messages "simple but not easy" and that definitely goes for breaking up!