decisions, consequences & the little old chorus

It's been an interesting day as I make final preparations for Australia. I had a conversation with someone today about some decisions I have made. They were questioning whether they were the right decisions to make. I finished the conversation feeling pretty low and thinking this was the last thing I needed in my busy day & did not want to head away to minister in Australia in a head space less than positive. I've had a few hours to think and I've been reminded again that as leaders we have to be prepared to make decisions and stand by them. We must be prepared to deal with the consequences of those decisions whether good or not so good. Sometimes I think it is too easy worry so much about failing that we continue to play it safe. We need to 'own' our reasons and logic. If we believe strongly enough in something then we have to be prepared to make those tough decisions and take whatever fruit is yielded from those seeds.

I wrote in my journal earlier tonight that "sometimes I feel misunderstood, undervalued and marginalised but I guess Jesus felt and experienced those things too." But I found myself correcting my thoughts almost the moment they came out onto the page. I don't know that Jesus did FEEL those things and EXPERIENCE them. I'm sure he found himself in situations where they could have been possible outcomes if his mind was in the same state as mine. I'm sure it would have been possible for him to experience those kinds of emotions if his self image and worth was as battered as mine sometimes is.

However I don't think Jesus did feel and experience those things because his eyes were on the Father, his purpose was not in the purposes of man, but in doing whatever the Father wanted him to do. His sense of identity was not determined by what others thought, said or did towards him, but rather what the Father thought, said and did towards him.

I think I like Jesus' way better than mine. So I find myself being reminded again about identity and destiny and my desire is as the old chorus says ...

"to be like Jesus, this hope possesses me, in every thought and deed, this is my aim, my creed. To be like Jesus, this hope possesses me, his spirit helping me, like him I'll be."