I'M A SURVIVOR

BOOTCAMP IS OVER.......AND I AM ALIVE TO TELL THE TALE!

It was much harder than I imagined. But it was soooo worth it. Each session was pushing me to my limit and so many times I wanted to give up & go home. But the more I stuck at it, the more I started to see changes. The first day I could hardly run up the set of stairs once let alone 6 or 7 times. By the end of it I was able to run up hills and hold my own :)

The biggest battle for me has always been the battle of the mind. I think I've made huge progress in terms of being able to push through my mind saying "no more"!

But I know that its just the beginning. So as of Monday I begin the boxing bootcamp! We'll see how that one goes.

I've found that the process of pushing through my mental blocks has been really helpful in terms of pushing through those times when I struggle with temptations, issues and giving in to the easy instead of taking that road less travelled.

So my muscles, both physical and spiritual have been having a real workout over these last weeks and so lets just see where these next 5 weeks takes me.

2 down, 8 to go

So every morning since monday my alarm has gone off at 5:20am and I've 'sprung' out of bed. Monday and Friday we have the group sessions for bootcamp, the other days I'm on my own in terms of what I do. After Monday's effort I knew I didnt want to arrive at Friday without having done some exercise in between. So Tues was weights. Wed came and it was meant to be a run day. Having always had a love hate relationship with treadmills I thought I'd give it a go. I decided that I couldnt face running for an hour but I could probably manage a 10 min run followed by a 5 min walk. So plugged in the headphones and off I set. I ended up being on the thing for an hour, repeating that same pattern. Thurs came, mean to be weights, but I needed to prove to myself that wed wasnt a one time thing. Today, Fri, we repeated the group activity we did on Monday. I found myself able to run just a little faster and push myself just a little further. It was a great feeling knowing that getting up at this ridicouls hour and committing myself to the discipline of exercise was paying off. On Monday I could hardly move for the rest of the day, today I'm going biking with my mate Becks after work. Romans is going great too. I'm really enjoying sitting on the porch after the gym with my bagel and bible and absorbing romans. It's good for me, I'm not so sure I can say the same about the bagel!

BOOTCAMP

So today was day one of my 5 week bootcamp...let me explain. At the gym they were promoting this 5 week bootcamp that was going to start today. It was all about running, jumping,stairs, pushups and all those other things we might associate with an army style fitness thing. I have been terribly slack over recent years with my fitness so thought this could be the thing to kickstart me off. So I signed up....aware that it meant being at the gym by 5:55am!

Well on Saturday I was reading this book "SEXGOD" by Rob Bell (don't let the title freak you out - very good book) and was really challenged about how I relate to God and to others and so I decided that I would commit myself to an all over bootcamp for 5 weeks. In other words, while I put my body through a bootcamp at the gym, I'm putting my spirit and soul through one too.

So after waking up every once in a while during the night, thinking I might sleep through my alarm, I got to the gym in time (although forgot my banana for breakfast). OH MY GOODNESS. It was hard, at one point I was just waiting for Bob and Gillian to come running around the corner with red and blue tee-shirts for us to put on (biggest loser for those of you not up with the play). We ran, we sprinted up stairs and down them, we ran some more, found more stairs and then did these insane exercises. Jin one of the 2 instructors apparently used to train soldiers in the korean army!

As I plodded my way back to the gym there came a moment when I was out of sight of those in front and those still behind me. A little voice said "just walk, noone will know, you're almost there anyway, what difference will it make?" I reminded myself that this was a bootcamp and I would know, it would make a difference because I would be cheating myself of getting the most out of this experience. So I kept plodding along all the way back to the gym.

When I got home I took some time to read through Roman's chapter 1. I thought Romans would be a good starting point for my spiritual bootcamp.

So it's 10:45am and I'm feeling good, ask me at 3pm and I'll probably just grunt. I will try and keep the blog up to date with my bootcamp. Have a great day :) I know I will.

children's day 2007

What a brillant day! Hamilton turned on the weather, we set up some stuff and hundred's of families turned up at the park for a play. We had bouncy castles, a big slide, a chair-o-plane that made me feel dizzy just watching, sausages, candy floss (you had to be really in need of a sugar rush to endure the 1 hour wait in the queue...but so worth it), magnetic fishing, chocolate fish, singstar comp, balloon animals and a great area for under 5's. I must confess to being slightly nervous before the event as to whether I had remembered everything on my list.....and what would we do with all those sausages if noone showed up? I need not have worried. This community of West Hamilton is amazing. They were so supportive and it was fantastic to see whole families playing together. I enjoyed it so much I'm already excited about next year. Of course it was an awesome team of people who put it together and an equally awesome group of volunteers on the day that made the day run so smoothly.

BUSY BUSY BUSY

I am still around, its crazy busy here in Kirikiriroa. Hopefully I will make some time after this sunday to update my blog.. Its childrens day this sun and we've got a big event at the local park.....much fun is planned.

l8r

police...they're watching!

Ok so I know its been ages since I blogged....yet again. To briefly catch up to today. Dec - went to wellington for Commissioning, my brothers Queens award (boys brigade) and preachers boot camp with Rob Harley....all great.

Came home, had farewell sunday, finished packing....freaked out as movers came 2 days early...and left to head to chch. Had Christmas in chch and left boxing day to head to Wellington. Stopped for the night and then up at 5:30am to travel to Hamilton.

Got there, checked out the house, then stayed with Becks for a couple of nights due to unforseen circumstances.

Anyway a funny thing happened yesterday and I thought 'I really must blog that'...and unlike all the other times Ive thought that, Im actually doing it.

So the registration on my car had expired over the long weekend and the post office didnt open to today. Yesterday (when I realised it had expired) I was in a bit of a bind, you see I had some videos that needed to be dropped back but expired rego...so I thought I'd take side streets as far as I could before getting onto the main drag to get to the video shop. My theory was that I would be less likely to see cops on these side streets. BIG MISTAKE!

As I was driving down this quiet surburban street, not one, not two but three cop cars came down it one after the other all in a row. I thought "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME". You see it would be very easy to spot my expired sticker as it still said 2006 on it and as we hopefully all know its now 2007. So I turned onto the main drag only to have another cop car behind me, but they turned down the side street to follow the THREE other cop cars.

Then coming home I stopped at the lights and yes, there it was, another cop car sitting at the lights.

I dont know how many cops cars were on duty yesterday afternoon but I tell you what, I was feeling like somehow big brother had been watching me, and letting me know that!

So first thing this morning I went to the post office and registered my car and havent seen a cop car since!

there's a consipracy brewing in the sultanas!

So, I had this 'great' idea for youth group the other nite. A play on the old car rally, scavenger hunt thing. It was quite simple really. Each car had clues and at each location they had to find information and text it to the cellphone number on the clue. If they were correct they would get a text back with a word that once they were all put together, would lead them to the final destination. The clues didnt always have the same cellphone number on it, so they had to actually pay attention to the clues. The first location was one of our local supermarkets...its big, its yellow, you pack your own groceries....I anticipated this would take them about 5mins...1/2 later they are all still there trying to get the right answer. All they had to do was tell me how much it would cost them to purchase 5 particular items. I bought them that morning and had a till receipt in case anyone tried to dispute it. In the end I text them the amount of each individual item and they had to add them up (which a couple of teams still struggled with). Anyway the nite was a TOTAL DISASTER in one respect. Not one team finished. Two teams thought they'd be smart and after a few clues headed to where they thought the finish was (and they were right) However, because the lights were off and they couldnt see my car (because I hid it round the corner in a side street) they didnt even bother to get out of the car!!!! The other cellphone was one bought from that big red shop that has that annoying jingle...and well it just didnt cope with the volume of texts so it wouldnt send answers back to the teams! In another way though the nite was a TOTAL BLAST they all had so much fun driving around the city and plotting their revenge against the organiser (that's me).

Now you're probably asking by now, if you're still reading, what has this got to do with Sultana's? Let me take you back to that big yellow shop and fill you in. See if you can follow me...

Thurs 8:30 am - I purchase 500g budget sultanas for $3:29 ( i have the receipt to prove it)
Thurs 7:30 pm - Teams are claiming the sultanas are $3:25 (label on the shelf)

After the race was over I had to see it for myself. Sure enough on the shelf they are advertised at $3:25...BUT when I took them to the checkout and asked them to scan they came up at $3:29. Now you might think ok 4c isnt much.....BUT if the sultana's were the only thing I was buying it becomes an issue of 10c.

At $3:25 they must round it down to $3:20 because we no longer have 5c pieces. At $3:29 they round it up to $3:30 ....see where the 10c is?

I started to wonder just how many items in the store are sporting a shelf price that differs from a checkout price? Then I began to wonder is this how they are trying to make up for the 4c petrol promotion that they are now offering? Hmmmm

The funny thing is that on thursday morning I purchased well in excess of 60 items and how funny that out of all those items, I picked one that had a problem and mucked up my race.

So you can bet that I'll be watching those sultana prices much closer in the future :)

happy birthday to me

On sunday I celebrated my 32nd birthday. It was lovely :)
I'd spent 4 days of that week at a women officers retreat at Waipiata (a place in the middle of nowhere near Ranfurly). It was a fantastic time and also really challenging.
We had surprise party for me. The surprise was only that the woman organising the week didnt know we were planning it. We played charades (one of my all time favourite games) and teeth (another great game). We ended with Ice cream cake - something I've always wanted but never had. It was delicious and a great way to soothe the lips after a ferocious game of teeth!
Sunday was a great day too. Pancake breakfast as a fundraiser for Fiji, church and then the arrival of my mum from Chch. We headed out to Fillies (awesome pizza place) before heading to the ballet "Giselle". It was beautiful. A lovely traditional ballet. It was cool dressing up and heading out.
So Ive now been 32 for two days now. How's it been? Well, actually, pretty sucky! I've been sick and so havent been able to do too much really. I'm ignoring the comments of those who have suggested that its old age catching up with me....come on now, 32 aint that old....unless you're a 5 year old!
So Im hoping that the next 363 days will be much better than the last two.

I'm FINE!.....really!

I was in Alexandra at the weekend and went for a drive to St Bathan's on saturday to take a few photos. On my way back I found this little guy lying on the side of the road. His arms were visible from ages away down the road. I got his better side (the other side showed what Possums are really made of...if you know what I mean).
He looked so cute lying there, rather relaxed, apart from the fact that he was dead.
He reminded me of how sometimes when life is actually pretty hard, we tell ourselves we are fine. People ask us and our response....IM FINE! even when it's painfully obvious that the only person we are kidding is ourselves. I've been listening to a song in recent days called "he knows my name" some of the words are ...."He knows my name, he knows my every thought, he sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call."
Its a great reminder that in the midst of life at its worst, Jesus knows, When stuff happens that causes us pain, Jesus knows, when we can't seem to pick ourselves up off the ground, Jesus knows.

finishing the race

The Olympic Games in Mexico City, 1968, were filled with the ususal incredible performances. Swimmer Mark Spitz captured 7 gold medals, and world records fell like autumn leaves on a winde October day. But as is often the case, one human drama exemplified the true meaning of sport, often lost in today's feeding frenzy for endorsements and movie contracts.
Out of the cold darkness he came. John Stephen Akwari of Tanzania entered at the far end of the stadium, pain hobbling every step, his leg bloody and bandaged. The winner of the Olympic marathon had been declared over an hour earlier. Only a few spectators remained, but the lone runner pressed on. As he crossed the finish line, the small crowd roared out its appreciation, "Yea" Afterward, a reporter asked the runner why he had not retired from the race, since he had no chance of winning. He seemed confused by the question. Finally he answered, "my country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race. They sent me to finish."

I love that story, it encourages and challenges me. Anyone can start a race, but it takes determination to finish. I want to finish the race.....

(taken from "Building a church of small groups" by Bill Donahue and Russ Robinson)

wonder woman

Wonder Woman......

I've been taking a little trip down memory lane this morning as I tried to keep my focus on my exam prep. I'm one of these people who struggle to study in silence, being much more productive while studying with a dvd on or tv programme or something in the background.

So this mornings choice was Season 1 of Wonder Woman. I don't remember seeing the pilot episode when I was a kid so it was great to watch it and understand where she came from and how she came to be 'wonder woman'.

It's funny to see the almost comical acting and the funny sound effects etc. Even though it has that little element of cringe about it, I still love it. With her belt that keeps her strong, her bulletproof bracelets and her truth telling whip who can doubt her ability to fight crime and seek to right the wrongs.

It reminded me of yesterday's message at church and a book I'd been reading recently.

Scripture talks of the need to clothe ourselves with spiritual clothing, the sword of the spirit, the shoes of the gospel, the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness. And yesterday at church we were reminded about the need to clothe ourselves in love. Without these things we become weak, ineffective and hollow. Just like wonder woman loses her ability to be effective as a superhero if she takes off her belt and bracelets, we become ineffective as Jesus followers if we take off these clothes.

A great reminder for me as the pressures of life feel quite high right now. I need to clothe myself daily.

So its back to writing my essays, watching wonder woman reruns and wearing clothing that is fit for a king.

nga mea katoa - everything

My mind has felt like mush over this last week. But through the mush God is there. This morning I decided to come into work early and crank up the sounds while no one else was around. I've got this fantastic cd entitled "nga mea katoa" from Invasion music. There are some great songs in Maori and one in particular is really making my heart go..."yeah, that's what I want, that's where Im at"

Whakanuitia te Ariki
Ahakoa te aha
Ko Koe tonu ra e Ihu
Te timata Oku whakapono
Whakamoemiti kia whai
kororia
To ingoa

Tuku a nga mea katoa
ka koropiko ki a koe
toku kingi nui
whakamoemiti
nou toku whatu manawa
ka whai kororia kia koe
i nga wa katoa

whakanuitia te Ariki
Whakahonoretia Tou Ingoa
Kuhu mai e te Wairua Tapu
Whakamahi ahau e te Ariki
Whaka Kororia
Tou Ingoa Tapu

which basically translates "I will bless the Lord at all times, no matter what may come my way, always looking unto Jesus, the author of my faith,as my heart is filled with praises, I will glorify your name. Lord I give you everything, and worship you, my one and only king, you are worthy of all praises, lord I give you my heart and soul, in everything I do in you I know, you will be glorified. I will bless the Lord at all times, and give honour to your name, all I have I will surrender, Holy Spirit have your way, Take this vessel Lord and use me, to bring glory to Your name."

That is my hearts cry...that in everything I would bring glory to his name....that I can be a vessel used by God.

goodbye, hello

Well what a week since my last post. As I write this blog I am awaiting the email copy of 'farewell orders' (the list of changes of appointment for officers within NZ, Fiji and Tonga) My name will be on that list and having not received the usual phone call the night before confirming the change, I have a more than usual vested interest in seeing the document. This last week has been a shocker...having been aware of a possible move for at least 6 weeks only to be told on Wed that it has changed...see previous post for card that arrived the morning I got told!

Anyway then off to Wellington the next day for the "New Zeal" conference. What an AWESOME weekend. God was incredibly gracious and really met my need to hear from him.

So...its now past 10 am and I can tell you that I am now appointed as the corps officer of the Grandview corps in Hamilton.

Its been a really rough ride over this last week, but God made his presence felt in my life!

I have to go...I have 2 exams to study for and not a lot of time to do so, I will procrastinate no longer

timing is everything

I arrived at work today to discover a card, sent to me by a lady whose friendship I have really appreciated over the last few years. Her encouragement and kindness, her smiles and hugs. As I read the card this morning I appreciated the thoughts contained within and I wanted to share them

they are taken from a book written by Fraces J Roberts

"I am the Lord thy God
I know no limitations
I know no lack
I need not reserve my stores, for I always have a fresh supply
Thou canst by no means ever exhaust my resources.
Let thy heart run wild
Let thine imagination go vagabond.
No extravagance of human thought can ever plumb the depths of my
planning and provision for my children.

Rejoice, therefore and face each day with joy, for I have planned
ahead for thee, and made all the necessary arrangements and reservations.
I am thy guide and benefactor
PUT YOUR HAND IN MINE"

It wasnt until this afternoon that I fully understood the timing of her gesture. This afternoon I have found myself going back into my bag and pulling out the card and re-reading these words again and again. God knew that I would need these words today, so 2 days ago he prompted my friend to send me this.

I'm reminded again how a simple prompting from the Lord can be so powerful for those who receive.

No doubt I'll look at this card a few more times before the day is out.

I'm still alive....

Its been ages I know and as an excuse I can only claim the busyness of the end of semester at university. We've had classes and assessments crammed up as two of my lecturers had to go overseas. I'm trudging my way through my final essay for the year, a 3000 word essay about the influence of Hone Tuhawaiki on the treaty of waitangi. Its due tomorrow and my word count is currently sitting on about 400 words so I really have to pull finger.

Its hard to believe we are almost through October...only a few more weeks of being 31! Im really looking forward to the weekend ahead. The Salvation Army is holding a conference in Wellington called "New Zeal". The guests include Commissioner Linda Bond, Pete Greig (author of red moon rising) and others. Ive been on the planning team so its been a long but exciting journey getting to this point. I'm really looking forward the weekend and hearing what God has to say to us as a movement and me as his child.

Anyway I must sign off and get back to that essay...I really must finish it!

its a boy!

My family just got bigger. My friends Jennie & Andrew just welcomed Mitchell into the family today. He's a few weeks early, but no ones complaining. It gives Andrew more time with him before heading to police college for training. Im so blessed in that I am heading to Wellington in a months time for the weekend so I'll get to see him while he's still a little baby. While I dont have the pleasure of being a biological aunty to my brothers kids (as neither of them have any) I have the awesome gift of children through my friends children. They give me so much pleasure and I love hearing them call me aunty shar. So Mitchell is very welcome into my life and I have been preparing for his arrival since he was first known about. I have a great collection of nappies that need to somehow make their way north. Well I have no pics at this stage but as soon as I do he'll be in a frame and on my wall.

the technological age

So ive been thinking, since last week actually, so I decided it was time to think out loud (although I guess unless you are actually reading this out loud, then its not really out loud now is it....)

Last week we had a bit of a problem with telecom (our telecommunications company) because some workmen accidently dug into a fibre optic cable with their digger (accidential unless they were secretly employed by Telecoms opposition). Anyway it meant that our email was out, our cellphones werent working, no eftpos and no money machines were working.

It also happened to be on the day that I was waiting for an urgent email about flights we were trying to book for members of our youth group to get to Fiji. It struck me how weird it was that so much of my work day was interrrupted by this incident. As my work mates and I were reflecting it was hard to remember life before cellohones and internet. Even stranger was the fact that when I worked it out, it was only the year 1998 that I had my first cellphone and i didnt really get introduced to the internet and email until 2000. Thats only 6 years...what about the 20 something years before that? Has my life changed that much in such a short space of time that I now feel a little lost without that technology being available and at my disposal when and where I want it?

As I endeavour to try and simplify my life and declutter it, I find myself having to consistantly assess my desire for technology. Sure that phone has lots of cool gadgets and can do all sorts of cool things, but do i need it when I have a perfectly good phone already for making calls and sending texts. Sure it would be awesome to be able to buy the latest gadget or piece of technology but can my resourses be better used in other places, to benefit other people instead of satisfying my desire (for the moment anyway).

Im not saying that technology is all bad, I mean, i wouldnt be able to blog without it..but I wonder at how reliant I have become on it...and whether in the rush to introduce more and more technology into my life, other, simpler things are being pushed aside.

oh to be australian right now

No sooner had I published my previous post then I hear the news that a second well known australian has been killed. Peter Brock - racing car driver has been killed in a race. Australia will be experiencing a strange kind of grief this week.

a crazy week

There has been so much happen this week, personally, professionally and in the world around me. I've had a couple of conversations with friends this week that have really challenged me and caused me to pause and reflect. I've had dealings with people through work that have frustrated me, encouraged me, and pointed me back towards the God that i seek to know better. Then this week there have been those events that have shocked - the death of Steve Irwin, crocodile hunter - its been interesting how that event has polarised peoples opinions of him. Regardless of what people think of him, its still a tragic loss and the circumstances around his death make it even more tragic. Closer to home the death of two men in the Hawkes bay. The first guy was struck by truck of the second and as he got out of his truck to try and free the man trapped under his vehicle, he too was hit and killed. Both men's lives so tragically taken, in circumstances that seem so crazy. As Ive been thinking about it all today though, I cant help but think of those who die alone, with no one aware they have even gone. I heard a story of a local man who was dead 6 weeks before anyone came looking for him. How unbelieveable, and yet how real is this. The release of research about the hundreds of Men across our nation who live alone is food for thought. One can feel overwhelmed at times by all that seems to be going on. How do we begin to make a difference, to see transformation take place in any area? I come back again to the title of my blog "one matters for eternity". Sometimes the thousands, the hundreds, even the dozens can seem too much....but how about the ones. The neighbour across the driveway who is desperately lonely and goes to bed every night hoping that someone might notice if they didnt wake up in the morning. The child attending the school down the road who wishes that there was someone who would make the time to watch them play sport on saturday mornings. The student who feels the expectation of family (and sometimes country) to make something of themselves and begins to measure their worth and value as a person by the grades they achieve.

I can't comprehend the thousands, but I can commit to the ones.....because one matters.

its a matter of perspective

Well its been a great couple of weeks. it started with the sole officer symposium in Upper Hutt. a gathering of people from NZ and Australia who are for whatever reason, serving God as officers on their own. The company was fab, the teaching inspiring the highlight having said all of that, had to be singstar and the dance mat....so funny. Such a pleasure hanging with the girls. I then headed to New Plymouth for a weeks holiday. I had been looking forward to it for months and had been watching the weather reports. They were looking very promising. Well it turned out that Dunedin and New Plymouth did an exchange and while Dunedin suddenly had beautiful weather, NP wasnt quite so flash. There is a mountain in the Taranaki, although many visitors would be unsure if it was just a rumour because it often cant be seen. I got a great view of the mountain.....the day I was leaving, on the bus, on my way out of town. I came straight home and headed to camp for the weekend. Another great time. Ive had some things running around in my head over this last week. At times Ive had my questions about if Im hearing from God properly and moments when ive wondered what God is trying to show me...even at times Ive uttered the words 'where is God in the midst of this'. I was reminded today about perspective. Even though sometimes you cant see Mt Taranaki, and a visitor might even wonder if it actually exist, it doesnt change the fact that it is there. on the ground under the clouds you ask 'where is the mountain' but get in a plane and fly above the clouds and you see the mountain in all its glory. Sometimes the clouds of life settle and I look from where I am and struggle to see God, or see the purpose in something, just because clouds are covering my view, doesnt mean that God is not there. Its just a matter of perspective. So Im heading into a new week trying to look for a different persepective. Trying to place my hope in God alone and that he is my strength and my salvation.