....still I will say "blessed be the name of the Lord"

This week has been a week of absolute tragedy for many in our nation. With the death of a man struck by lightening and then the drowning of 6 students and their teacher while on a school trip. It has been a week where the Kingdom of God has been demonstrated in a most powerful way. The faith of Christians has been on display for all to see and observe as they sought to grapple with the worst thing they could have imagined, the loss of their children, their siblings, their friends.
I have been so impressed with the way they have allowed the media in on their grief, portraying a very real response to the circumstances and a very real faith being exercised in the midst of it all.

Some quotes that have gripped me...

This from an article speaking to the father of Natasha Bray "Someone asked Mr Bray if his belief was being tested. His reply was forthright, even startling in a secular world. 'It absolutely tests my faith in God. This is another chink in the armour and tests my belief. We are saying to God, 'why has this happened? Where does this fit into your plan? I don't have an answer to that, sorry, but I do have a place in my heart to go.. I am just so glad that I know how to handle these things and know where I can take my grief."

Danie Vermeulen (board of trustees chairperson) "what you are experiencing here, its real. It's not a religion, it's a real practical thing and it's touching people and pulling them together"

Simply because we follow Jesus does not make us exempt or immune from challenging times, from pain and grief. But what these people have shown us is that through those circumstances we can have a hope beyond the grave. We have someone that we can run to....we can go to that place where despite not understanding it, or feeling it, we can still say "blessed be the name of the Lord". We can still say God is good. It may be that everything around us sucks right now, that darkness has closed in on us....but God is still Father God, he is sovereign and he grieves along with us.

When the pressure is on, what is inside us will come out...the question I have to keep asking is "what am I inputting into my life? What kind of life am I building? Am I building in such a way that when the storms of life come (and they will come) that I can remain standing?

I want to live my life in such a way that when the pain is so excruciating I can say "I don't have the answers to why....but I do have a place in my heart where I can go"...that place where God is still on the throne.

2 L8 4 V8?

The V8 car racing has arrived in Hamilton at long last. It's been months of preparation for this weekend. It's good that its finally arrived. As I was driving through town yesterday afternoon watching all the bars get their outdoor seating areas set up for the influx of people, seeing the various businesses promoting themselves in various car themes and seeing the masses of people who are suddenly in our city, I had this sinking feeling....

What am I doing? Where will the Salvation Army be this weekend? I know The Nest are selling sausages to raise money for the community ministries in the city...but what about at night, when the racing is done for the day, and the thousands of people are wandering the streets, getting boozed up, possibly getting themselves into all kinds of mischief or trouble. Where are we then? Tucked up in our beds? Watching tv in our homes, oblivious to what's happening around us?

I had this sinking feeling that we as a city had missed an amazing opportunity to bring Jesus into the midst of it all.

So now I'm sitting here thinking...what can I do? It's not necessarily the wisest thing to head into the city on my own late at night. What can I even offer people? I even went so far as to think what could I wear? I have no coat that would say "here's the salvation army" and the weather is such that I wouldn't last 3 minutes wearing my uniform as such.

I'm disappointed in myself for not thinking about it sooner, to be able to rally some troops so we could head into the city and do something.....

So I'm thinking about it over the day and who knows what might happen tonight...I'm hoping for a God inspired and directed idea that I can run with at such late notice and without a lot of troops.

Gutted.....but hopeful

Jesus plays rugby

So I've just come home from a rugby game...crusaders vs chiefs. I won't get into the sad details of the game. At one point though a player was sin binned and the funniest conversation took place behind me.

Guy who wasn't watching: "who just got sent off"

Girl with him: "oh it was that Jesus guy"

Let me offer an interpretation for you "that Jesus guy" is the guy with the long shaggy hair and beard. It got me thinking about how do people connect me with Jesus. I would be in serious trouble if the way people would connect me with him is if I grow my hair shaggy and attempt to grow a beard!!!!

The evidence of Jesus in my life must surely come from me spending time with him and he rubbing off on me in such a way that when people interact with me, Jesus is visible. So I don't think its enough to simply dress like him or have a Jesus haircut or saviour stubble.

Although I do really like the idea that Jesus plays rugby.

Freegans

So one of the things I learnt about while I was in Dunedin at Just Action and Freedom Congress was DUMPSTER DIVING. I don't recall ever hearing about it as an activity done in connection to our "wasteful" society. I knew that homeless people have searched through dumpsters in order to survive on the street....but never others doing it. Hat tip to Hania Aitken for educating me on the whole phenomenon.

So today I was looking at http://www.news.com/ and saw an article about dumper diving. Those who regularly rely on the goods from dumpsters are known as "Freegans"

www.news.com.au/business/money/story/0,25479,23554795-14327,00.html

One guy Ashwyn Falkingham, has been dumpster diving for 5 years and has had not had grocery bills for those 5 years except for the odd condiments. "It’s entirely possible for someone with a fridge and freezer to dumpster-dive once a week and do the equivalent of a weekly shop," The mind begins to boggle thinking of the wastage that must occur in supermarkets if that is possible.

Here are the tips for safe dumpster diving according to http://www.news.com/

*Avoid bins behind locked gates or which are clearly marked with no trespass signs.

*Wear tough clothing and shoes and carry a torch.

*If security asks you to leave, don’t argue

*Dive with a partner or in a group (especially for women).

*Avoid bins associated with medical practices, hospitals or any other bins that may contain hazardous waste and materials.

*Don’t take people’s paperwork or personal information.

*If it smells like bleach or rat poison, don’t touch it, it may have been put there deliberately to discourage people scavenging.

*Don’t leave a mess.

*Leave enough for someone else

It's definitely food for thought.

Home Invasion

Don't freak out...my home hasn't been invaded....well not my actual building. Let me explain.
Today I was in a discussion with some great people. We were talking about the kingdom of God and understanding what it is... what do we mean when we say "we want to see the kingdom of God coming down.." afterall isn't the kingdom of God within us?

For me an easy way to understand the Kingdom is that I want the reality of heaven to be the reality of earth. What goes in heaven, goes in earth. Whatever the atmosphere in heaven...is it the same here on earth? If not then I want heaven's reality to become my reality. I want my 'temporary' home to be invaded by my eternal home. I understand there to be no sickness in heaven...so I will continue to pursue that reality here on earth. I will continue to pursue the life of Christ at all cost.

Jesus said "seek first the kingdom of God". That is a massive challenge for me because sometimes I want to pursue my own interests, my own desires or agenda. But if that agenda doesnt line up with the agenda of the kingdom, one of them has to give way. My prayer is that I will always lay my agenda down in favour of the kingdom.

I love what God is doing around the world. I love the stories emerging of God doing miraculous things and bringing healing and wholeness to people's lives. Yes I can tell people about Jesus and the Kingdom of God but I also need to demonstrate the kingdom, otherwise I'm just like a door to door salesman, trying to sell something I dont believe in, or have no personal experience of.

So I'm praying for God to continue to invade my "home", my life, my church and my community.

Bob the Builder

My Friend Major Bob Millar was promoted to glory (Salvation Army term for when a solider dies) yesterday. I'm still trying to believe it myself. I just saw him in Dunedin a couple of weeks ago and since he signed up to facebook, we've been keeping tabs on each other!

I dont remember the circumstances under which I first met Bob but I know I was still quite young and newish to the army. Bob always made me feel significant. He would always hunt me out in a room full of people to talk to me, and see how I was going and to check I was still a Cantaburian at heart.

Seeing Bob a couple of weeks ago was great....even more so now. I wish I had bucket loads of savings so I could just hop on a plane and head down for the funeral on Saturday. Having already checked out the flights, this is impossible. So my tribute to Bob will have to be the next best thing. I am going to the Crusaders vs Chiefs game on Saturday here in Hamilton and I will be yelling extra loud for Bob!

What I love about Bob is that he loves people. Check out his blog www.millarbug.blogspot.com and you'll see that God was still teaching him how to love people more. Bob was a builder - a builder of the Kingdom of God and of people's dignity and sense of worth. I know that there will be many many people who will come out of the woodworks for his funeral on saturday. There will be many who this will be the first time they enter through the doors of a church.....I pray it wont be the last. My prayer is that Bob's passing will be the catalyst for many to enter into the kingdom and in the family of God.....so that even in death, Bob remains a builder of people and the Kingdom.

So Bob I salute you today, as a man of God who loved Jesus and people.....& the crusaders.

xxx

Timber.....

Many years ago, the Employment Plus scheme that is situated right next door to my corps came up with a brillant scheme of planting christmas trees to be harvested and sold to raise some money. A great idea! Somewhere along the way, perhaps due to changing staff members, these trees were forgotten about. There was no harvest, there was no selling, there was no money. Instead these trees were left to simply grow....and grow they did. They kept growing until they became a forrest of very tall trees.

So last year I arrived to the corps and one of the things we did early on was have a working bee to try and clean up the "forrest". It had become a great place to drink and discard the empty bottles it would seem. A neighbourhood watch meeting had been called by the residents whose properties backed onto ours.

Later in the year we had a really strong wind storm. One young woman actually lost her life when she was struck by a falling tree near the university. It was really windy!!! One of the beloved Christmas trees decided it wanted to "lie down" and proceeded to crash through the fence at employment plus. This was a blessing. You see had it fallen sideways it would have gone crashing right through one of our 40 retirement units, doing serious damage to the property and perhaps the person living there. So something had to be done. The trees were far too unstable to stay....even though they looked great.

Much discussion and debate took place. I love trees and while I didnt really like the idea that we would have to chop them down, I liked the idea of losing residents even less.

So on Thursday the sound of chainsaws and bulldozers could be heard as the Christmas trees finally came down.

It got me thinking about how a great idea left undone became a problem and how a tree left unpruned became a danger to others.

As much as I don't like being pruned, it is necessary for proper growth. The problem with those christmas trees is that their roots system was not stable enough to hold the height they had grown to. I need to make sure I have strong roots in Christ in order to support and nurture my growth, otherwise when the storms of life come.....I'll crash into a fence or worse yet.....hurt someone along the way.

So today I choose to embrace the pruning of God, to enable me to grow tall AND strong in him

they protesteth too much

So I've been thinking about protests over the last few days. You only have to watch the news or check it on the internet to see the on going protests that are associated with the Olympic torch relay to know that protesting is alive and well in the world. It has been a well used method of action in countries all over the world for all kinds of causes. Some protests are non-violent, others cause bloodshed and mayhem.

There were some lively discussions around protests at JustAction08 and Freedom Congress and I guess this is what got me thinking a little harder about protests. Now I'm no expert,I havent been to that many protests over the years. I did start one when I was 10 because the school would not allow girls to play rugby at lunchtime with the boys. So my friend and I gathered together all the girls we could find (including the 5 year olds who didnt even know what rugby was and made a stand!) but my thoughts lead me at the moment towards the idea that sometimes a protest is the best thing and sometimes its not. Sometimes a protest will actually highlight an issue that otherwise would have been swept under the carpet.

However I also think that there are sometimes where a protest would actually damage the cause of change. Instead of opening the way for positive change to occur, it might actually close the door and bolt it shut. I wonder if its possible to love the idea of a protest more than the idea of change?

Thinking about the dialogues taking place last week...I was leaning towards a definate need to address the valid concerns being raised....but a live protest at congress would have bolted that door shut tight and it would have far reaching consequences that I'm not sure many had thought too much about.

So next week I am involved in the planning of an upcoming event and I will be bringing to the table the concerns raised last week, in order that we might be able to make positive changes to begin to turn the tide around. Its not a cop-out.....its the best step forward for this issue at this time in this setting.

There will be another day for another protest, but today is not that day.

Love vs Lust

I have been reminded again by God of my natural tendancy to live a life motivated by lust instead of love. Now for some the very mention of the word lust would suggest a 'sexual context' - so for the purposes of clarity let me offer a definition of both words.

Love - is for the benefit of others
- desires to give
- even at the expense of self

Lust - is for the benefit of self
- desires to get
- even at the expense of others

So often when I reflect at the end of the day on my thoughts, actions, words and reactions, they are sadly leaning towards a lustful motivation. When I reflect on the thoughts, actions, words and reactions of Christ, his was a love orientated lifestyle.

So I repent of my lust and seek to pursue a life of love....love for God, for others and for myself.

As I'm trying to intentionally think each day about issues of justice I am struck by how the various issues of justice that are impacting our world are motivated out of 'lust' rather than love....

(just to name a few)

human trafficking
chocolate slaves
marginalisation of the poor
domestic violence
HIV/Aids

All of those contributing to the injustice are desiring to get at the expense of others. But I wonder how many of us respond to injustice from a lustful motivation? How long has it taken me to think differently about these matters because it was about me, me, me and what was in it for me, or what impact it would have on my life, and my circumstances

eek! How wrong was I!!

So today I choose to live a live of love......kicking lust to the curb and saying hasta la vista baby!

signed

a recovering pharisee

chocolate coated just action

I've returned from Sunny Dunedin and the JustAction08 and Freedom Congress08 gatherings. Both were full of highlights, lowlights and challenges. At Just Action we heard about many things, only one being the idea of fair trade and chocolate slaves. Forever in my head will be the description Danielle Strickland gave of Zion pointing at chocolate in a supermarket and yelling "slave, slave" My friend and I pondered chocolate later as we had planned to visit the Cadbury tour. Having been myself on a few occasions I was intent on going more for her benefit than my own. As we went on the tour wearing our protective headgear (as seen in pic) we came across a group of workers busy putting mini crunchie bars into bags. Our tour guide informed us that each person works a particular station for only 30 mins at a time and then they rotate. This helps stop them getting bored or OOUS (occupational overuse syndrome). They also rotate from one line to another. So they might work easter eggs and then roses chocolates.

As I reflected later on cadbury's policy to look after their staff, my thoughts drifted back to a video clip I had seen just 4 days earlier where a young man talked about what life was like as a cocoa slave. He showed the welts, scars and wounds that covered his body, he demonstrated how he and others like him were tied up and beaten, and he told the reporter that he had worked for 5 years for his "employer" and had never ever been paid one cent for all his labour.

The contrast between the two was as far apart as they could be in terms of their working enviornment, job satisfaction, employer etc.....yet they were both working because of a common occurance....my love and volumous consumption of chocolate.

I must confess that I have finally begun to view chocolate differently. I've dabbled with fair trade chocolate in the past, but that caramello has kept calling me back. However now I have a face and a story that speak into my heart about the origins of my delicious treat. Now when I look at chocolate in the supermarket I'm pointing my finger and yelling "slave slave" (well on the inside anyway).

not hopeful but expectant

So one of the key messages in my life is the pursuit of Jesus - not just his nature but lifestyle too. As I read scripture, I remind myself that the same holy spirit that empowered Jesus empowers us. This morning as I was praying the Lord revealed to me that as I've been pursuing this lifestlye, I've been engaging with it more from a sense of hope, than of expectation. As I've prayed for people, more often than not, I've been hoping that God would heal them. This morning Father God challenged me to live out of a mindset of expectancy rather than hope.

I was listening to a teaching a while ago where the speaker asked the question about whether people in 3rd world countries who were seeing incredible miracles take place had more faith than western christians. He said he came to realise that it wasnt that they had more faith, they just had less doubt!

I want to be a doubtless follower of Christ....a disciple who is expecting...not high expectations...but expectation fullstop!

I believe in the transforming power of God. I don't want to hope for that anymore. I'm expecting it.

Frida - Chosen to die, Destined to live

So I read a book yesterday, yes the whole book, in one day. And before you ask, no it wasn't a picture book! It was a captivating story of Frida Gashumba, a survivor of the Rwandan Genocide...here's the blurb from the book.

"Frida witnessed her family being massacred by Hutu men with machetes and was then asked how she wanted to die. She could not afford a bullet, which they offered to sell her, so instead received what should have been a fatal blow to the head. She was put in a mass grave with her slaughtered family only to find herself still alive and conscious. She eventually climbed out of the pit covered in filth and blood. Frida will never forget her traumas but the healing God has brought is miraculous. Today this young woman has an important message for the world. This book tells the true, dramatic story of life amid the horro of the 1994 Rwandan genocide, but more importantly how Frida's life was utterly transformed by the power to forgive and love her enemies. Despite great adversity, the message is one of immense hope and personal deliverance."

In other words....an amazing story of grace and forgiveness and the determination to overcome.

It is a read that will disturb you as you read of the genocide that took place and the hundreds of 1000's of people killed for no other reason than they were born in a different tribe. It will also disturb as you think about forgiveness. Frida had much to forgive, things that I can never truly comprehend the depth of pain and suffering she experienced first hand. It is both incredibly inspiring and challenging to read her journey towards being able to not only forgive those who murdered her family and friends and tried to end her life, but the vision she began to have for her God given purpose amidst it all.

I heard the other day "Vision gives purpose to our Pain"..... pain is no longer there just for pain sake, but when we have a vision of God's plans & purposes for us, the pain has been given purpose. It is not that God sends the pain to teach us a lesson, but he will use pain in our lives to to teach us and train us.

I would encourage everyone to read this powerful book....but be prepared to be shocked both by the horrific events and the incredible transforming power of God to take that which was for death and destruction and brought life and hope.

who's watching?

Here in NZ at the moment there is a competition running where if you are snapped holding a specially marked water bottle by a mystery photographer you could win $10,000. A local girl has already been one of the receipents of this competition and with at leeast 4 weeks to go there has been great excitement about the possible windfall. I have one such bottle and being an avid water drinker I'm happy to contain my water in a specially marked bottle.

But it got me thinking about differently we might act if we know that someone might be wathing us. No doubt there are people who wouldnt normally carry around these bottles, but due to the possiblity of 'being snapped' they will gladly do so, untl the competition ends.

I have been guilty at times of acting differently if I think someone is watching me....the eagle-eyed teacher, pretending to be busy reading at her desk, the guy at school who everyone thought was cute, the sporting scout who turned up to watch a game....we look busy, smile sweeter or play harder when we think that someone is observing our actions.

I must confess Ive also been guilty in the past of being a better "christian" when I thought I was being watched by others. I know Im not the first or last person to sucumb to this. Bill Hybels even titled a book "who you are when no-one is watching". It's not who we are in public, or on the stage that defines who we are. Its who we are when noone is watching that reveals our true colours....no one that is except Jesus. Jesus is always watching, always wanting to engage with us, always calling us on.

I want to be the same on the stage, as in public as in the quiet places in my soul. I want to be like Jesus. I want to be honest with him and with myself at all times. I don't want to be motivated by the thought that he might be watching, but motivated out of my love and desire to give my all to him.

...and if someone else happens to be watching I hope that they see Jesus in me.

a time for grace

So right now I'm feelinlg pretty fragile. I just found out some news about some people very close to me and I feel absolutely helpless. I don't know what to say, what to do, how to make this better. I want to fix it and fix it now...but I can't. I can't make them change, nor can I demand that God do so. I know that they must come to that place of surrender themselves. But as someone who loves them, it is hard to stand by and do nothing. But I realised as I lay in bed blubbering about it, that I can do something...I can pray and keep on praying until I see God's grace transforming their situation and their hearts. I raced to my bible and looked up a bible reference that popped into my head. The moment I read the words in those verses I blubbered some more. It was like those verses were written just for me, and just for this situation at this time. If no one in all of history got anything out of those verses ever again that's ok, because for me at this moment they have given me hope, and peace and faith to believe that God's transforming grace is greater than any challenge I or those I love will ever face. I am reminded when I think about grace that "there but for the grace of God go I".

Please pray for my 2 loved ones.....God knows their names, and their situation and I would appreciate all the prayer support I can get at the moment.

drinking of God's grace, Shar xx

the sound of the ocean

One of the things I've missed most about now living in Hamilton is the fact that the beach is so far away. The nearest beach is Raglan (about 40 mins drive). I love water, ocean, lake or river. I have really missed the sound of the ocean and the sand beneath my feet. Some of my best days this summer has been spent either at the beach or at the river (mainly in New Plymouth). So with my last 3 days of holiday before the year kicks in again I felt the need to escape the city limits and head towards that wonderful sound of the waves. So I'm here at Waihi beach with my partner in crime Rebecca for a few days of unwinding.

Do you ever have those moments where you crave something? Sometimes for me it is chocolate, or coke, or the ocean. Sometimes I crave space from the world and want to be able to cocoon myself in God's presence....just me and him. Sometimes the sound of the world around me gets so loud that I just need to hear the gentle whisper of my saviour. It is a soothing balm for a weary soul...and at times I feel weary.

So I'm at beach, fulfilling my cravings...for the ocean, for chocolate and for Jesus.

gotta go, I can hear them calling me now

a $16,000 haircut

Well its been way too long since I last posted. So much has happened since October. The most recent of these things is that Make Change has come and gone.....and so has my hair.

We were having an offering for the youth work in Fiji and Tonga. I committed myself to having my head shaved if the offering got to $10,000. The offering was collected and while our team were counting it, Michael Collins began talking. While I couldn't hear all that he was saying, I could tell that he was talking about giving. I gave him the figure of the offering ($8,300) and he then told us that he thought we had the $1700 to bump it up to the $10,000 so we took up a second offering. The total of the offering came up to over $15,000 and so off came the hair. It's now up to over $16,500 with the foreign currency converted and banked.

I found the whole experience a roller coaster of emotion. It was incredibly emotional counting the offering and seeing Fijian currency amongst the money. The stories of young people's generosity towards the offering was challenging and it was pretty special being a part of getting that figure as high as it was.

It was a bit emotional getting my hair cut. I havent had short hair since I was a child, and people often thought I looked like a boy with short hair, so I was a little concerned about how it might look. I also remember a time when it seemed that the reoccuring comment I would hear is "wow you have such beautiful hair". It became a bit of an issue for me as I got hooked into the lie that the only thing about me that people liked was my hair. It took a while to work through that and the "make change" hair cut was terribly freeing as I laid that ghost to rest once and for all. For me it was a personal proclaimation about knowing who I am, and my worth as a person. No one else heard it or knew it, but for me....I heard the father's voice affirming me again as his daughter and that my value is not tied up in physical looks or even what other people think of me.

I want to continue to go after things that confirm and proclaim the truth and help others to go after that in their own lives. The enemy will always try and attack us in two areas...our identity and our destiny. The more we anchor ourselves in Christ the more we can stand firm amidst the storms of life that come our way.

I'll sign off for now and will endeavour to return again before my hair needs a cut!

I asked for a taste.....I got a 3 course meal

How do I say this succinctly? General Eva Burrows is one of my heroes, right up there with Jesus and Wonder Woman. I have admired her since she first came to my attention as General of the SA back in the day. On a number of occasions I have made plans to "happen to bump in to her", but every time something or someone spoiled my plan.

A number of weeks ago I was minding my own business when this random thought invaded my brain and said "I wonder who is speaking at ACC this year" so I followed that thought to the website and lo and behold "General Eva" was one of the highlighted speakers.

So very excitedly I rushed through an application to be able to attend the conference and before I knew it I was coming to aus. As much as I tried to find a friend to come with me, everyone had excuses....oh sorry I mean reasons!

I have been more and more excited as the days drew closer to finally getting to meet her and perhaps getting a picture with her.

On Tuesday at the end of the Officers day I waited in line to meet her, not a literal line, but there was a definate figurative line of ppl waiting.

My turn came and I said "Hi General Eva, I just wanted to come and introduce myself and meet you." When I said who I was she immediately recognised my name from some previous correspondence, grasped my hand in hers and said "lets have lunch tomorrow".

As you could perhaps imagine, I was pretty excited about this, and there was a flurry of texts going back and forth to NZ (I'm dreading the bill).

So condensing the story to a readers digest version. I had lunch on Wed, and spent the afternoon with her at her workshop, and then on Wed night she invited me to join her for lunch on Thursday to meet her friend Meg. We had a great time and I sat with her for the final night of ACC. I am going to 614 where we will "catch up" again.

I feel like I've been sitting at a banquet of wisdom, grace and holiness all week long. I was hoping she might remember my name and pose for a picture. I had prayed that God would give me an opportunity throughout the week to meet her.

God totally made that request look minute. He has blessed my socks off and I feel like I need to keep pinching myself.

General Eva is still my hero right next to Jesus and Wonder woman, but now I could perhaps dare to say she is my friend. She continues to inspire me, to encourage and challenge me, and those good thoughts I had about the kind of Godly woman she is, have been both confirmed and expanded.

Thank you Jesus for totally blessing me and spoiling me....keep it coming!

the power of the testimony

So getting back to manifest presence and what happened. On the last night Bill was talking about the power of the testimony of what God has done. Not only is there power in the written word of God (the bible) but also as we testify about what God has done. He gave examples of how someone was healed of a condition and as he shared with a congregation about what God had done, a person was healed listening to the testimony of how God had healed this other person. They have had 31 people be healed on bipolar and only 2 of those people have actually had people lay hands on them and pray. All of the rest of them were healed as they heard the testimony of God having healed someone else....mind blowing stuff.

So during the ministy time that night there was a word of knowledge given about a woman who was injured during childbirth and it was never healed. So during the testimony time a woman came up and shared about how she had been injured years ago giving birth and had not been able to sit on the floor and cross her legs. She then demonstrated God having healed her by sitting on the floor cross legged.

Pastor Bill then said "there is someone who God is healing you now of a childbirth injury as you have listened to this testimony. So check yourself out now."

So all the women who had childbirth injuries were checking themselves out and a lady stuck her hand up to say that God had healed her. It was awesome.

more to come.....

manifest presence 07

So I've just had 6 days holiday and chose to spend it at the manifest conference in Auckland. Bill Johnson and Ian Green were the 2 main speakers and it was awesome! The first night 74 people were healed and there were over 100 on the last night - everything from bipolar, deafness, short leg, cancer, sensitive teeth and so much more. One of the girls I was with had her cracked skull healed the first night we were there. The thing that impressed upon me the first night was how 'unflash' the whole thing was. Amanda's skull was healed after the people from her own church simply put their hands on her and prayed. It was simple, straightforward and without a whole lot of show.

There are just way too many 'healing' stories to list but lets just say that God blew my mind again and again and again!

It has made me more determined to seek after God at all cost. I want my christian faith to require faith on my part. I dont want to live a safe christianity but one that is going after the LIFE of Christ.

I will blog some more about this later....feeling a little tired right now, but wanted to begin the conversation while it was fresh in my spirit.

a resilient life

I've been reading a book over the last couple of days "A Resilient Life" by Gordon MacDonald. I've had to limit myself to reading only one chapter in bed, because its so good I'd be awake all night reading it and be shot for work the next day.

One of the reasons it has struck such a cord with me i think is because Gordon uses his career as a 'runner' as a framework for the book. Growing up I was a bit of a runner. I was senior athletics champion at both primary and secondary school and loved athletics and all things sporty. But unlike Gordon, I never applied myself beyond just turning up on the day and competing. I know I had potential but never applied myself to its possibility.

One of my dreams has always been to run the New York Marathon. I know I have the potential to do it.....but to date have never achieved it. Although in the last 6 months I've finally taken steps towards it by running the SBS 1/2 marathon in Christchurch over Queens birthday.

Since then, my training has slackened right off again....and reading this book helped me to realise something.

HI MY NAME IS SHAR AND I AM A QUITTER!

I have the quitters gene. I dont complete the things I start and I start things I never finish. I've known this about myself for some time now, but before reading this book I wondered if there was ever going to be something I could do to break the cycle.

As a kiwi I'm not prone to talking myself up....but there's a little part of me that thinks that God has destined me for great things.......and what stands in the way from me fulfilling that destiny is ME! I am my own worst enemy.

So I'm reading this book with a heart that is crying out to God..."Yes Please Lord".

Anyway that's a little confession from me....back to that reading.

Ruth Norrish

No sooner had I published my previous blog, I received the word that Ruth has passed away. I just want to take the time to honour this amazing lady. She trained as a single officer for a season before marrying Graham and having 8 children. She has been such a delight to know, always encouraging me, and keeping Graham in line (a great sense of humour). It has been such a pleasure knowing her and I know that Graham will in one sense, be lost without her. Yet they both had such faith and trust in God, she is home with Jesus.

God Bless you Ruth

6 weeks in 6 sentances...or similar

OK, its been way too long since my last blog. I did the 1/2 marathon and felt fantastic and overwhelmed all at the same time. I went to Wellington for a block course for my 2nd semester uni paper and that was a great time....fell in love with Borders bookstore, just as well we dont have one in Hamilton. My friend Karen got engaged, very cool. My friend Helen had a baby girl. One of the most exciting things is that my roommate from summer camp 95 found me via the internet....I've been searching for her for years with no success. So stoked that we have reconnected, so now I've found 3 of my camp buddies. Happy times. Its chilly here, but not as chilly as Dunedin.

At the moment I am wishing that I was in Dunedin thought. Graham & Ruth Norrish ( a wonderful couple from Dunedin) came to visit me a few weeks ago when they did the massive roadtrip up here for field days. We had a great day together and then had lunch together after church on the sunday. It was so nice to be able to see them again, they've always been so supportive and encouraging.....Well Ruth is in hospital and the last word I had yesterday was they hadn't expected her to make it through Sat night but she had. It's awful being here and not being able to support them and others as she makes her journey home. They are the most delightful couple, in their 80's, still so in love, and playful with each other. So all I can do from here is pray, and pray and pray some more, for Ruth & for Graham as he says goodbye for now, to his sweetheart.

So a tingle of sadness invades my days at the moment.

So for now, I'll sign off and try and be back again soon.

A 1/2 Marathon awaits...

So I've been debating over recent weeks as to whether to blog about my attempt to complete a 1/2 marathon. I resisted, because that would make it just a little too real...well this morning there is no turning back. In just under 3 hours times the starting gun will go, and I will be off like a tortise (as opposed to a rabbit!)

My training started out great and then along came a calf muscle strain that caused a hiccup or two to my plans. So today is not about RUNNING a 1/2, its about COMPLETEING a 1/2....and I'm ok with that, because you have to start somewhere aye.

Can I confess I am somewhat nervous....actually I'm very nervous. 21.1 km doesnt sound like much, but suddenly it seems as though its a never before attempted distance that noone will survive.

If I finish the race, I get a medal...that's good enough for me, but more than that, I'm one step closer to my ultimate goal of completing a full marathon (and to take that 1 step further, I'd love to complete the New York marathon).

So watch this space for a picture or two and my report on how things went. That's if I can pluck up the courage to leave the house!

I'M A SURVIVOR

BOOTCAMP IS OVER.......AND I AM ALIVE TO TELL THE TALE!

It was much harder than I imagined. But it was soooo worth it. Each session was pushing me to my limit and so many times I wanted to give up & go home. But the more I stuck at it, the more I started to see changes. The first day I could hardly run up the set of stairs once let alone 6 or 7 times. By the end of it I was able to run up hills and hold my own :)

The biggest battle for me has always been the battle of the mind. I think I've made huge progress in terms of being able to push through my mind saying "no more"!

But I know that its just the beginning. So as of Monday I begin the boxing bootcamp! We'll see how that one goes.

I've found that the process of pushing through my mental blocks has been really helpful in terms of pushing through those times when I struggle with temptations, issues and giving in to the easy instead of taking that road less travelled.

So my muscles, both physical and spiritual have been having a real workout over these last weeks and so lets just see where these next 5 weeks takes me.

2 down, 8 to go

So every morning since monday my alarm has gone off at 5:20am and I've 'sprung' out of bed. Monday and Friday we have the group sessions for bootcamp, the other days I'm on my own in terms of what I do. After Monday's effort I knew I didnt want to arrive at Friday without having done some exercise in between. So Tues was weights. Wed came and it was meant to be a run day. Having always had a love hate relationship with treadmills I thought I'd give it a go. I decided that I couldnt face running for an hour but I could probably manage a 10 min run followed by a 5 min walk. So plugged in the headphones and off I set. I ended up being on the thing for an hour, repeating that same pattern. Thurs came, mean to be weights, but I needed to prove to myself that wed wasnt a one time thing. Today, Fri, we repeated the group activity we did on Monday. I found myself able to run just a little faster and push myself just a little further. It was a great feeling knowing that getting up at this ridicouls hour and committing myself to the discipline of exercise was paying off. On Monday I could hardly move for the rest of the day, today I'm going biking with my mate Becks after work. Romans is going great too. I'm really enjoying sitting on the porch after the gym with my bagel and bible and absorbing romans. It's good for me, I'm not so sure I can say the same about the bagel!

BOOTCAMP

So today was day one of my 5 week bootcamp...let me explain. At the gym they were promoting this 5 week bootcamp that was going to start today. It was all about running, jumping,stairs, pushups and all those other things we might associate with an army style fitness thing. I have been terribly slack over recent years with my fitness so thought this could be the thing to kickstart me off. So I signed up....aware that it meant being at the gym by 5:55am!

Well on Saturday I was reading this book "SEXGOD" by Rob Bell (don't let the title freak you out - very good book) and was really challenged about how I relate to God and to others and so I decided that I would commit myself to an all over bootcamp for 5 weeks. In other words, while I put my body through a bootcamp at the gym, I'm putting my spirit and soul through one too.

So after waking up every once in a while during the night, thinking I might sleep through my alarm, I got to the gym in time (although forgot my banana for breakfast). OH MY GOODNESS. It was hard, at one point I was just waiting for Bob and Gillian to come running around the corner with red and blue tee-shirts for us to put on (biggest loser for those of you not up with the play). We ran, we sprinted up stairs and down them, we ran some more, found more stairs and then did these insane exercises. Jin one of the 2 instructors apparently used to train soldiers in the korean army!

As I plodded my way back to the gym there came a moment when I was out of sight of those in front and those still behind me. A little voice said "just walk, noone will know, you're almost there anyway, what difference will it make?" I reminded myself that this was a bootcamp and I would know, it would make a difference because I would be cheating myself of getting the most out of this experience. So I kept plodding along all the way back to the gym.

When I got home I took some time to read through Roman's chapter 1. I thought Romans would be a good starting point for my spiritual bootcamp.

So it's 10:45am and I'm feeling good, ask me at 3pm and I'll probably just grunt. I will try and keep the blog up to date with my bootcamp. Have a great day :) I know I will.

children's day 2007

What a brillant day! Hamilton turned on the weather, we set up some stuff and hundred's of families turned up at the park for a play. We had bouncy castles, a big slide, a chair-o-plane that made me feel dizzy just watching, sausages, candy floss (you had to be really in need of a sugar rush to endure the 1 hour wait in the queue...but so worth it), magnetic fishing, chocolate fish, singstar comp, balloon animals and a great area for under 5's. I must confess to being slightly nervous before the event as to whether I had remembered everything on my list.....and what would we do with all those sausages if noone showed up? I need not have worried. This community of West Hamilton is amazing. They were so supportive and it was fantastic to see whole families playing together. I enjoyed it so much I'm already excited about next year. Of course it was an awesome team of people who put it together and an equally awesome group of volunteers on the day that made the day run so smoothly.

BUSY BUSY BUSY

I am still around, its crazy busy here in Kirikiriroa. Hopefully I will make some time after this sunday to update my blog.. Its childrens day this sun and we've got a big event at the local park.....much fun is planned.

l8r

police...they're watching!

Ok so I know its been ages since I blogged....yet again. To briefly catch up to today. Dec - went to wellington for Commissioning, my brothers Queens award (boys brigade) and preachers boot camp with Rob Harley....all great.

Came home, had farewell sunday, finished packing....freaked out as movers came 2 days early...and left to head to chch. Had Christmas in chch and left boxing day to head to Wellington. Stopped for the night and then up at 5:30am to travel to Hamilton.

Got there, checked out the house, then stayed with Becks for a couple of nights due to unforseen circumstances.

Anyway a funny thing happened yesterday and I thought 'I really must blog that'...and unlike all the other times Ive thought that, Im actually doing it.

So the registration on my car had expired over the long weekend and the post office didnt open to today. Yesterday (when I realised it had expired) I was in a bit of a bind, you see I had some videos that needed to be dropped back but expired rego...so I thought I'd take side streets as far as I could before getting onto the main drag to get to the video shop. My theory was that I would be less likely to see cops on these side streets. BIG MISTAKE!

As I was driving down this quiet surburban street, not one, not two but three cop cars came down it one after the other all in a row. I thought "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME". You see it would be very easy to spot my expired sticker as it still said 2006 on it and as we hopefully all know its now 2007. So I turned onto the main drag only to have another cop car behind me, but they turned down the side street to follow the THREE other cop cars.

Then coming home I stopped at the lights and yes, there it was, another cop car sitting at the lights.

I dont know how many cops cars were on duty yesterday afternoon but I tell you what, I was feeling like somehow big brother had been watching me, and letting me know that!

So first thing this morning I went to the post office and registered my car and havent seen a cop car since!

there's a consipracy brewing in the sultanas!

So, I had this 'great' idea for youth group the other nite. A play on the old car rally, scavenger hunt thing. It was quite simple really. Each car had clues and at each location they had to find information and text it to the cellphone number on the clue. If they were correct they would get a text back with a word that once they were all put together, would lead them to the final destination. The clues didnt always have the same cellphone number on it, so they had to actually pay attention to the clues. The first location was one of our local supermarkets...its big, its yellow, you pack your own groceries....I anticipated this would take them about 5mins...1/2 later they are all still there trying to get the right answer. All they had to do was tell me how much it would cost them to purchase 5 particular items. I bought them that morning and had a till receipt in case anyone tried to dispute it. In the end I text them the amount of each individual item and they had to add them up (which a couple of teams still struggled with). Anyway the nite was a TOTAL DISASTER in one respect. Not one team finished. Two teams thought they'd be smart and after a few clues headed to where they thought the finish was (and they were right) However, because the lights were off and they couldnt see my car (because I hid it round the corner in a side street) they didnt even bother to get out of the car!!!! The other cellphone was one bought from that big red shop that has that annoying jingle...and well it just didnt cope with the volume of texts so it wouldnt send answers back to the teams! In another way though the nite was a TOTAL BLAST they all had so much fun driving around the city and plotting their revenge against the organiser (that's me).

Now you're probably asking by now, if you're still reading, what has this got to do with Sultana's? Let me take you back to that big yellow shop and fill you in. See if you can follow me...

Thurs 8:30 am - I purchase 500g budget sultanas for $3:29 ( i have the receipt to prove it)
Thurs 7:30 pm - Teams are claiming the sultanas are $3:25 (label on the shelf)

After the race was over I had to see it for myself. Sure enough on the shelf they are advertised at $3:25...BUT when I took them to the checkout and asked them to scan they came up at $3:29. Now you might think ok 4c isnt much.....BUT if the sultana's were the only thing I was buying it becomes an issue of 10c.

At $3:25 they must round it down to $3:20 because we no longer have 5c pieces. At $3:29 they round it up to $3:30 ....see where the 10c is?

I started to wonder just how many items in the store are sporting a shelf price that differs from a checkout price? Then I began to wonder is this how they are trying to make up for the 4c petrol promotion that they are now offering? Hmmmm

The funny thing is that on thursday morning I purchased well in excess of 60 items and how funny that out of all those items, I picked one that had a problem and mucked up my race.

So you can bet that I'll be watching those sultana prices much closer in the future :)

happy birthday to me

On sunday I celebrated my 32nd birthday. It was lovely :)
I'd spent 4 days of that week at a women officers retreat at Waipiata (a place in the middle of nowhere near Ranfurly). It was a fantastic time and also really challenging.
We had surprise party for me. The surprise was only that the woman organising the week didnt know we were planning it. We played charades (one of my all time favourite games) and teeth (another great game). We ended with Ice cream cake - something I've always wanted but never had. It was delicious and a great way to soothe the lips after a ferocious game of teeth!
Sunday was a great day too. Pancake breakfast as a fundraiser for Fiji, church and then the arrival of my mum from Chch. We headed out to Fillies (awesome pizza place) before heading to the ballet "Giselle". It was beautiful. A lovely traditional ballet. It was cool dressing up and heading out.
So Ive now been 32 for two days now. How's it been? Well, actually, pretty sucky! I've been sick and so havent been able to do too much really. I'm ignoring the comments of those who have suggested that its old age catching up with me....come on now, 32 aint that old....unless you're a 5 year old!
So Im hoping that the next 363 days will be much better than the last two.

I'm FINE!.....really!

I was in Alexandra at the weekend and went for a drive to St Bathan's on saturday to take a few photos. On my way back I found this little guy lying on the side of the road. His arms were visible from ages away down the road. I got his better side (the other side showed what Possums are really made of...if you know what I mean).
He looked so cute lying there, rather relaxed, apart from the fact that he was dead.
He reminded me of how sometimes when life is actually pretty hard, we tell ourselves we are fine. People ask us and our response....IM FINE! even when it's painfully obvious that the only person we are kidding is ourselves. I've been listening to a song in recent days called "he knows my name" some of the words are ...."He knows my name, he knows my every thought, he sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call."
Its a great reminder that in the midst of life at its worst, Jesus knows, When stuff happens that causes us pain, Jesus knows, when we can't seem to pick ourselves up off the ground, Jesus knows.

finishing the race

The Olympic Games in Mexico City, 1968, were filled with the ususal incredible performances. Swimmer Mark Spitz captured 7 gold medals, and world records fell like autumn leaves on a winde October day. But as is often the case, one human drama exemplified the true meaning of sport, often lost in today's feeding frenzy for endorsements and movie contracts.
Out of the cold darkness he came. John Stephen Akwari of Tanzania entered at the far end of the stadium, pain hobbling every step, his leg bloody and bandaged. The winner of the Olympic marathon had been declared over an hour earlier. Only a few spectators remained, but the lone runner pressed on. As he crossed the finish line, the small crowd roared out its appreciation, "Yea" Afterward, a reporter asked the runner why he had not retired from the race, since he had no chance of winning. He seemed confused by the question. Finally he answered, "my country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race. They sent me to finish."

I love that story, it encourages and challenges me. Anyone can start a race, but it takes determination to finish. I want to finish the race.....

(taken from "Building a church of small groups" by Bill Donahue and Russ Robinson)

wonder woman

Wonder Woman......

I've been taking a little trip down memory lane this morning as I tried to keep my focus on my exam prep. I'm one of these people who struggle to study in silence, being much more productive while studying with a dvd on or tv programme or something in the background.

So this mornings choice was Season 1 of Wonder Woman. I don't remember seeing the pilot episode when I was a kid so it was great to watch it and understand where she came from and how she came to be 'wonder woman'.

It's funny to see the almost comical acting and the funny sound effects etc. Even though it has that little element of cringe about it, I still love it. With her belt that keeps her strong, her bulletproof bracelets and her truth telling whip who can doubt her ability to fight crime and seek to right the wrongs.

It reminded me of yesterday's message at church and a book I'd been reading recently.

Scripture talks of the need to clothe ourselves with spiritual clothing, the sword of the spirit, the shoes of the gospel, the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness. And yesterday at church we were reminded about the need to clothe ourselves in love. Without these things we become weak, ineffective and hollow. Just like wonder woman loses her ability to be effective as a superhero if she takes off her belt and bracelets, we become ineffective as Jesus followers if we take off these clothes.

A great reminder for me as the pressures of life feel quite high right now. I need to clothe myself daily.

So its back to writing my essays, watching wonder woman reruns and wearing clothing that is fit for a king.

nga mea katoa - everything

My mind has felt like mush over this last week. But through the mush God is there. This morning I decided to come into work early and crank up the sounds while no one else was around. I've got this fantastic cd entitled "nga mea katoa" from Invasion music. There are some great songs in Maori and one in particular is really making my heart go..."yeah, that's what I want, that's where Im at"

Whakanuitia te Ariki
Ahakoa te aha
Ko Koe tonu ra e Ihu
Te timata Oku whakapono
Whakamoemiti kia whai
kororia
To ingoa

Tuku a nga mea katoa
ka koropiko ki a koe
toku kingi nui
whakamoemiti
nou toku whatu manawa
ka whai kororia kia koe
i nga wa katoa

whakanuitia te Ariki
Whakahonoretia Tou Ingoa
Kuhu mai e te Wairua Tapu
Whakamahi ahau e te Ariki
Whaka Kororia
Tou Ingoa Tapu

which basically translates "I will bless the Lord at all times, no matter what may come my way, always looking unto Jesus, the author of my faith,as my heart is filled with praises, I will glorify your name. Lord I give you everything, and worship you, my one and only king, you are worthy of all praises, lord I give you my heart and soul, in everything I do in you I know, you will be glorified. I will bless the Lord at all times, and give honour to your name, all I have I will surrender, Holy Spirit have your way, Take this vessel Lord and use me, to bring glory to Your name."

That is my hearts cry...that in everything I would bring glory to his name....that I can be a vessel used by God.

goodbye, hello

Well what a week since my last post. As I write this blog I am awaiting the email copy of 'farewell orders' (the list of changes of appointment for officers within NZ, Fiji and Tonga) My name will be on that list and having not received the usual phone call the night before confirming the change, I have a more than usual vested interest in seeing the document. This last week has been a shocker...having been aware of a possible move for at least 6 weeks only to be told on Wed that it has changed...see previous post for card that arrived the morning I got told!

Anyway then off to Wellington the next day for the "New Zeal" conference. What an AWESOME weekend. God was incredibly gracious and really met my need to hear from him.

So...its now past 10 am and I can tell you that I am now appointed as the corps officer of the Grandview corps in Hamilton.

Its been a really rough ride over this last week, but God made his presence felt in my life!

I have to go...I have 2 exams to study for and not a lot of time to do so, I will procrastinate no longer

timing is everything

I arrived at work today to discover a card, sent to me by a lady whose friendship I have really appreciated over the last few years. Her encouragement and kindness, her smiles and hugs. As I read the card this morning I appreciated the thoughts contained within and I wanted to share them

they are taken from a book written by Fraces J Roberts

"I am the Lord thy God
I know no limitations
I know no lack
I need not reserve my stores, for I always have a fresh supply
Thou canst by no means ever exhaust my resources.
Let thy heart run wild
Let thine imagination go vagabond.
No extravagance of human thought can ever plumb the depths of my
planning and provision for my children.

Rejoice, therefore and face each day with joy, for I have planned
ahead for thee, and made all the necessary arrangements and reservations.
I am thy guide and benefactor
PUT YOUR HAND IN MINE"

It wasnt until this afternoon that I fully understood the timing of her gesture. This afternoon I have found myself going back into my bag and pulling out the card and re-reading these words again and again. God knew that I would need these words today, so 2 days ago he prompted my friend to send me this.

I'm reminded again how a simple prompting from the Lord can be so powerful for those who receive.

No doubt I'll look at this card a few more times before the day is out.

I'm still alive....

Its been ages I know and as an excuse I can only claim the busyness of the end of semester at university. We've had classes and assessments crammed up as two of my lecturers had to go overseas. I'm trudging my way through my final essay for the year, a 3000 word essay about the influence of Hone Tuhawaiki on the treaty of waitangi. Its due tomorrow and my word count is currently sitting on about 400 words so I really have to pull finger.

Its hard to believe we are almost through October...only a few more weeks of being 31! Im really looking forward to the weekend ahead. The Salvation Army is holding a conference in Wellington called "New Zeal". The guests include Commissioner Linda Bond, Pete Greig (author of red moon rising) and others. Ive been on the planning team so its been a long but exciting journey getting to this point. I'm really looking forward the weekend and hearing what God has to say to us as a movement and me as his child.

Anyway I must sign off and get back to that essay...I really must finish it!

its a boy!

My family just got bigger. My friends Jennie & Andrew just welcomed Mitchell into the family today. He's a few weeks early, but no ones complaining. It gives Andrew more time with him before heading to police college for training. Im so blessed in that I am heading to Wellington in a months time for the weekend so I'll get to see him while he's still a little baby. While I dont have the pleasure of being a biological aunty to my brothers kids (as neither of them have any) I have the awesome gift of children through my friends children. They give me so much pleasure and I love hearing them call me aunty shar. So Mitchell is very welcome into my life and I have been preparing for his arrival since he was first known about. I have a great collection of nappies that need to somehow make their way north. Well I have no pics at this stage but as soon as I do he'll be in a frame and on my wall.

the technological age

So ive been thinking, since last week actually, so I decided it was time to think out loud (although I guess unless you are actually reading this out loud, then its not really out loud now is it....)

Last week we had a bit of a problem with telecom (our telecommunications company) because some workmen accidently dug into a fibre optic cable with their digger (accidential unless they were secretly employed by Telecoms opposition). Anyway it meant that our email was out, our cellphones werent working, no eftpos and no money machines were working.

It also happened to be on the day that I was waiting for an urgent email about flights we were trying to book for members of our youth group to get to Fiji. It struck me how weird it was that so much of my work day was interrrupted by this incident. As my work mates and I were reflecting it was hard to remember life before cellohones and internet. Even stranger was the fact that when I worked it out, it was only the year 1998 that I had my first cellphone and i didnt really get introduced to the internet and email until 2000. Thats only 6 years...what about the 20 something years before that? Has my life changed that much in such a short space of time that I now feel a little lost without that technology being available and at my disposal when and where I want it?

As I endeavour to try and simplify my life and declutter it, I find myself having to consistantly assess my desire for technology. Sure that phone has lots of cool gadgets and can do all sorts of cool things, but do i need it when I have a perfectly good phone already for making calls and sending texts. Sure it would be awesome to be able to buy the latest gadget or piece of technology but can my resourses be better used in other places, to benefit other people instead of satisfying my desire (for the moment anyway).

Im not saying that technology is all bad, I mean, i wouldnt be able to blog without it..but I wonder at how reliant I have become on it...and whether in the rush to introduce more and more technology into my life, other, simpler things are being pushed aside.

oh to be australian right now

No sooner had I published my previous post then I hear the news that a second well known australian has been killed. Peter Brock - racing car driver has been killed in a race. Australia will be experiencing a strange kind of grief this week.

a crazy week

There has been so much happen this week, personally, professionally and in the world around me. I've had a couple of conversations with friends this week that have really challenged me and caused me to pause and reflect. I've had dealings with people through work that have frustrated me, encouraged me, and pointed me back towards the God that i seek to know better. Then this week there have been those events that have shocked - the death of Steve Irwin, crocodile hunter - its been interesting how that event has polarised peoples opinions of him. Regardless of what people think of him, its still a tragic loss and the circumstances around his death make it even more tragic. Closer to home the death of two men in the Hawkes bay. The first guy was struck by truck of the second and as he got out of his truck to try and free the man trapped under his vehicle, he too was hit and killed. Both men's lives so tragically taken, in circumstances that seem so crazy. As Ive been thinking about it all today though, I cant help but think of those who die alone, with no one aware they have even gone. I heard a story of a local man who was dead 6 weeks before anyone came looking for him. How unbelieveable, and yet how real is this. The release of research about the hundreds of Men across our nation who live alone is food for thought. One can feel overwhelmed at times by all that seems to be going on. How do we begin to make a difference, to see transformation take place in any area? I come back again to the title of my blog "one matters for eternity". Sometimes the thousands, the hundreds, even the dozens can seem too much....but how about the ones. The neighbour across the driveway who is desperately lonely and goes to bed every night hoping that someone might notice if they didnt wake up in the morning. The child attending the school down the road who wishes that there was someone who would make the time to watch them play sport on saturday mornings. The student who feels the expectation of family (and sometimes country) to make something of themselves and begins to measure their worth and value as a person by the grades they achieve.

I can't comprehend the thousands, but I can commit to the ones.....because one matters.

its a matter of perspective

Well its been a great couple of weeks. it started with the sole officer symposium in Upper Hutt. a gathering of people from NZ and Australia who are for whatever reason, serving God as officers on their own. The company was fab, the teaching inspiring the highlight having said all of that, had to be singstar and the dance mat....so funny. Such a pleasure hanging with the girls. I then headed to New Plymouth for a weeks holiday. I had been looking forward to it for months and had been watching the weather reports. They were looking very promising. Well it turned out that Dunedin and New Plymouth did an exchange and while Dunedin suddenly had beautiful weather, NP wasnt quite so flash. There is a mountain in the Taranaki, although many visitors would be unsure if it was just a rumour because it often cant be seen. I got a great view of the mountain.....the day I was leaving, on the bus, on my way out of town. I came straight home and headed to camp for the weekend. Another great time. Ive had some things running around in my head over this last week. At times Ive had my questions about if Im hearing from God properly and moments when ive wondered what God is trying to show me...even at times Ive uttered the words 'where is God in the midst of this'. I was reminded today about perspective. Even though sometimes you cant see Mt Taranaki, and a visitor might even wonder if it actually exist, it doesnt change the fact that it is there. on the ground under the clouds you ask 'where is the mountain' but get in a plane and fly above the clouds and you see the mountain in all its glory. Sometimes the clouds of life settle and I look from where I am and struggle to see God, or see the purpose in something, just because clouds are covering my view, doesnt mean that God is not there. Its just a matter of perspective. So Im heading into a new week trying to look for a different persepective. Trying to place my hope in God alone and that he is my strength and my salvation.

Sunday has arrived!

Tena koe. I haere au ki te whare wananga o Otago ki te ako i te reo Maori, a, ka haere au ki toku kainga inaianei. Ka tino pai te noho, kai atu, tangata atu, ako atu. Ka korero au i te reo maori, engari, kaore oku 'flatmates' e mohio toku korero!

I made it through the language weekend. It was so good, the food, the people, the learning. I had a really good time. There were some bits that were really hard for me, but I was able to cope with it, even if I didnt always understand what was going on.

It was funny though, as I lay in bed last night trying to sleep, there were thoughts running around and around in my head...and they were all in Maori! How cool is that. Just goes to show that what we immerse ourselves in gets inside us aye. Food for thought for me in terms of my hikoi (walk) with Jesus. How much do I immerse myself in him? Is he running through my head at night time or is it the latest episode of Prison Break? Am I immersing myself in scripture and does it flow out of me. Am I fluent in scripture or do I struggle to understand?

Some say practice makes perfect, but a wise man told me the truth...practice makes permanent...so I want to make sure I'm practising the right things, so they get cemented in my life. I want the things of Christ to run around in my head and in my heart and that they would be what people hear and see when they meet me.

A final greeting from Ephesians 1:2

"Kia tau ki a koutou te aroha noa me te rangimarie, he mea na te Atua, na to tatou Matua, na te Ariki hoki, na Ihu Karaiti."

freaky friday

So today is one of those Fridays I both loathe and look forward to. I'm heading to uni tonight for a 'wananga' (we stay overnight and do lectures and other stuff). Its for my language paper. I really love the context of them, and the fun and laughter of these weekends, however since its the language one there is NO english allowed! My Māori is not at the level of being able to converse freely with others and so my levels of anxiety are always higher than normal. It will be great for me though, cos the immersion environment is the best way to learn languages and unfortunately there is no country in the world where you can be emmersed in Māori in everyday situations. So the countdown is on until I head in, 2 hours and counting down. My previous experiences with the language wananga have given me a new appreciation of people who move to a country where they dont know any of the language and throw themselves right in at the deep end.
Im all for New Zealand being a bilingual country....it can be done. Seychelles has 3 national languages and people grow up learning and speaking all three. I wish more New Zealanders understood the importance of language to the survival of any culture.
So tonight I continue my learning.....I'll let you know how I go.

Ka kite ano

the art of forgiveness

so its Saturday morning, Im procrastinating...i have an essay to write on the treaty of waitangi, so instead I'm in bed, electric blanket on and laptop perched somewhat unstabily on my knees. I've been reflecting on last night. I had the privilege of speaking at recovery church on the topic of forgiving others. The opening question to us all last night was'what is the hardest thing about forgiveness' My response was 'trying to explain or define it'. Its not a one size fits all, some situations forgiveness is easy to understand or apply, then along comes something else that forgiveness just doesnt seem so simple anymore.

I used a clip from 'red dust' a film that is based around the truth and reconciliation commission that went through south africa, where those who had committed crimes could apply for amnesty if they gave full disclosure of the crimes they committed. At the end there is a series of scenes where the concept of forgiveness is addressed. One man both grants and receives forgiveness and it is a thought provoking watch. I loved one of the final lines of the movie where the character Alex (who was the 'victim' in the trial) says to his lawyer (who as a 16 yr old was imprisoned for dating a black man, and the conseqences were a severing of her relationship with her mum) "we have the right to say that it hurt".

Often people struggle with forgiveness because how to they reconcile the pain they are experiencing. does forgiving make our pain null and void? I dont think so, but its about being able to move through that pain to a place where we are not held captive by it.

I encourage you to watch red dust sometime. It is food for thought on forgiveness and closure.

And now I will encourage myself to get out of bed, and get on with my essay.

te wiki o te reo Maori

Tena koe e hoa,

Kei te pehea koe? Ko te wiki o te reo Maori i tenei wiki. Ka haere au ki te whare wananga o Otago ki te ako i te reo Maori.

Hey there, if you hadn't caught up on the news, its Maori Language Week in NZ this week and theres some great events happening around the country. Check out your local council website for more details. This years theme is sport, which is cool. I just wish it had been 2 months ago when my korero (speech) for uni assessment had been ....it was all about sport!
I'm learning the language and the hardest part for me is taking it outside the classroom and practising it. That's one of the tragedies contained within the story of Aotearoa, NZ.... the almost extinction of the language. Maori has been clawing its way back though and is now getting stronger and stronger all the time. One of my classmates is also taking Chinese, and during the christmas break went to China to be emmersed in the language and culture for about 6 weeks. We were lamenting the fact that there is no country where you can go and be emmersed in Maori, so we have to work extra hard to make sure the language not only survives, but prospers. Without language we have no voice....when a culture is an oral culture the language becomes even more critical. There are heaps of great resources out there for people wanting to learn te reo and free classess all over the place. I'll leave you with a couple of phrases I've found very helpful....

Engari mo tena = I don't think so.

Kaua e korero pena = don't talk like that.

Arohamai = I'm sorry

Have a great week, korero Maori whenever you can, even if its just a 'kia ora' (hello).

ka kite ano,

Na Shar

waiata

I'm taking Maor108 Waiata-te timatanga (an introduction to Maori waiata) this semester at uni. I've just come home from our second practical class where we are learning the songs which we will perform in a concert in September. I'm loving the paper. I love the singing, the actions and the stories behind the songs. The performance of these waiata is not jst standing up and singin the tune. Its about giving everything of yourself into the songs, feeling them and expressing that emotion in your voice, your face and body. Its a challenge for me but I'm loving it....will keep you posted on my progress.

mondays

Well its Monday again....and the start of the new semester at uni. I'm really quite excited by the new papers Im doing this semester. I have a Maori performing arts paper which includes a concert at the end of semester, and an introduction to the treaty of waitangi. I'm a little less excited about my language paper, but that's probably due to the fact I'm really struggling with it...It will be a miracle if I pass (which is a really weird place to be in as I dont usually find myself in that sort of position). Its a good place for me in that I cant just cruise and need to apply myself. The struggle I have with the language paper is that I can't practise what I learn and because I learn by doing....it becomes so much harder. Anyway, I'm going into this monday with a positive outlook and a commitment to myself to pull finger and make it through. I dont want to miss out on the pass by a silly 1 or 2 %.
It's also got me thinking about the time and effort I put into my understanding of scripture and biblical things. There is no grade or essay to submit...is that less of a motivation then? At times, it would seem my life is geared around the things I MUST do, rather than what is of greatest benefit to me.
So I head into this new week with a commitment to learning, studying and making application in all areas of my life....roll on next monday :)

noise vs silence

Over the last couple of days I've been thinking about the place that noise and silence both have in my life. I must confess that one is given far more attention than the other. I've always considered noise my kind of silence. Some need silence to concentrate, I need noise...or so I thought. I watched the Nooma dvd 'noise' and it's got me thinking some more. I know the verse well where God wasnt in the earthquake or the wind but in the whisper (or as some scholars would suggest, the silence) but have struggled to make application for myself because of the need for noise.....so I'm going to go on a bit of a journey over the next wee while to explore the silence and see what or who I can find in it.

the contents of a month

It would seem that me and blogging are getting off to a rocky start. Many times over the last month I've been somewhere and thought..."i should write about this in my blog" only to be nowhere near a computer at the time, and no time to blog when I am. This last month has been full of drama, challenge, stress, relaxation and so much more thrown in for good measure. My flatmate was involved in a car crash which saw her end up in Greymouth hospital and needing 2 operations, I made an unscheduled trip to the west coast to be with her, hung out in the hospital for 2 days (one of my least favourite places to be alongside the dentist) and made a rather scary but spectacular trip over Arthurs pass in the snow to get back to Christchurch in time to celebrate my Nana's 80th birthday.All of this taking place the day after I sat my exam for university.
I got my marks back this week and was totally stoked with my results. Its funny the goals you set yourself. I had never ever planned on going to University as I didnt really understand how it worked or if I would even have the brains to do it. So in my first year I thought it'd be cool to try for one A+ in my career as a part time uni student. After 3 years of trying and missing out by 1%,0.6% and 0.4% in past papers, I finally got my a+ with a 95% pass on one of my 300 level papers. So one would think after having finally achieved this long awaited goal, I'd be satisfied right? I am, and yet it has also shown me that its not about getting the grade on the piece of paper cos as we all know C's get degrees....its about the learning process and the change that takes place through that process that really counts. That's the lesson I'm trying to learn.
If I can continue to be open to learning, both academically based and that based on everyday life, then I will see change, in myself and in the world around me....hmmmm.

march of the penguins

Ok, so I know this movie has been around for ages, but I finally went and saw it at the theatre before it disappeared and I had to wait for the dvd (which by the way, they have no idea when it will be released in NZ).

What an absolutely beautiful movie. I was kinda glad I went on my own as I was able to fold up the arm rests, stretch myself out across a few seats and enjoy the movie on my very own 'couch'. I must confess I shed a few tears throughout the movie, but I'm ok with that.

There are so many beautiful moments in the movie that speak volumes about life, community, love, family, reality and perseverence. Like most movies any illustrations we might attach to real life are limited. While it speaks of love and the creating of life, the female penguins who dont manage to catch themselves a fella, head straight back to the ocean, they are excluded from the rest of the process. Likewise, those penguins whose eggs die, simply part company and return to the water. I wouldnt suggest this is a good model for the building of community.

There is a scene in the movie when the males are looking after the eggs (balancing them on their feet I might add) and the storms come. They all huddle together, 100's of penguins and form one big mass. The combined mass helps them to keep warm, and they take turns being in the middle of the mass, and being on the edge....a beautiful scene.

Anyway I could rabbit on but can I instead simply say...watch it and see for yourself the incredible story of the emperor penguins.

Go the Crusaders

Ok so it was the semi-finals of the Super 14 rugby competition this weekend. My team, the crusaders made it into the finals with seeming ease compared to the Hurricanes (the other NZ) team. I'm glad they did though. Its nice to have an all NZ final. It will make my life interesting next weekend when I stay with Rebecca (an avid Hurricanes fan). We're at a conference, although I have a feeling we might both start to feel unwell at about 7:25 and need to leave for the night! I love watching rugby, I even attempted to play it for the last couple of years. The first year our team won the competition so we got Medals, at which point I thought I should retire on a winning note, but decided to give it another season, in which we lost the final by 1 point. I learnt a lot from my couple of years playing. It's one thing to stand on the sideline and yell advice, its a whole nother thing to be trying to play your game when some girl from the other side decides to smack you in the nose, or its so wet and muddy that catching that ball and holding onto through the tackles becomes a mission in itself. I also learnt that you have to be prepared to get hurt, to get tackled and to get your face planted in the mud from time to time. If you aren't able to reconcile that then rugby really isnt the sport for you. Its an odd sport in that the most important thing is the ball, and your body is used to protect that ball at all costs. Unlike other sports where you try and avoid contact between your body, the ball and the opposition.
As I reflect on my short career as a rugby player I am challenged by the similiarities with my walk with Jesus. That too is a contact 'sport'. I have to be prepared to get hurt, get tackled and yes even end up with my face in the mud. Getting dirty is a part of both. I never felt like I'd had a good game unless I came home with mud on me. Am I prepared to put my body on the line for Jesus? Am i prepared to put in the hours of preparation needed for a 'game'. Do I ready my mind, and spirit through reading the word and prayer? Or do I just want to skip the season and get to the medal ceremony at the end......

got to go get ready for kidzone, I've leave with one final thought.

GO THE CRUSADERS!!!!!

PS. picture of Hurricanes playing the Crusaders - wicked sky aye!

me

I seem to be having some trouble with getting a photo into my profile...oh well, for now this will have to do.

Jo & Ross's wedding

I had the pleasure of performing the wedding of my dear friend Jo and her handsome man Ross. It was on the 1st April which might seem out of date now, but since it was 2005 since i last posted a real blog I feel ok about sharing the news now. It was a fantastic day, full of really mixed emotions. Jo and I had been the terrible twosome for so long. We are both officers (ministers) in The Salvation Army and shared the journey as two single officers. We'd spent many a night talking about the possibility of marriage, or for that matter, singleness forever!!! Ross and Jo coming together was so a God thing. I am reminded again that he is the eternal matchmaker! If I had married who I thought would be good for me I would have married my standard 2 teacher! (Ok I was only 8yrs old when I thought he was dreamy). The wedding was so much fun and I felt so priviledged to be a part of the day. She looked absolutley beautiful and it was so awesome to see that God had blessed them both with a partner who would bring out the best in the other. One of the things that impresses me about Ross, despite his misguided loyality when it comes to rugby, is that he loves to see Jo blossom and lets her be who she is, without trying to change her, or quieten her down!
I remember Jo telling me about how she had said to God "Im prepared to be single forever, if that will help me fulfill your call on my life better." Seeing Ross and Jo together, I know that God has definately brought them together for a purpose. So while she is no longer my single friend, she will always be the other half of the terrible twosome that we are!

Flip, I forgot I had a blog!

Well as you can see by the slight delay since my last blog, that I am not so good at remembering to visit. I was looking at a friends blog today, thinking how great it would be to be able share my thoughts in a little corner of the world, and I suddenly thought, I think I've been here before. A quick search with my email address brought me back home here. It's good to be home. I've dusted the cobwebs from the keyboard, polished the screen and made sweeping promises never to leave for so long again. So I hope to be here regularly, talking, reflecting, listening and most of all growing.